1 00:00:58,601 --> 00:01:02,354 Eddie, my friend, what can I do for you? 2 00:01:02,646 --> 00:01:03,646 I want to talk to Diane. 3 00:01:03,898 --> 00:01:06,067 But she don't want to talk to you. 4 00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:06,817 Yeah. 5 00:01:07,151 --> 00:01:08,191 Please don't make trouble. 6 00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:09,639 Diane, before you start squawking, 7 00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:12,281 let me just tell you you're the most wonderful girl 8 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:13,157 I've ever known. 9 00:01:13,449 --> 00:01:17,244 And nobody's been as sweet to me as you. 10 00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:18,996 You make me feel... 11 00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:21,791 well, you make me feel beautiful. 12 00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:23,292 But you are beautiful. 13 00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,294 Why do always hide behind that booth? 14 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:26,921 Let me see all of you. 15 00:01:27,213 --> 00:01:28,297 Please, I'm begging you, 16 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,674 go away and don't ever come back. 17 00:01:30,966 --> 00:01:31,550 Oh, kiss me! 18 00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:34,720 Please, for the love of God, go away. 19 00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:36,639 Not till I get my kiss! 20 00:01:38,641 --> 00:01:41,727 Please don't look at me that way! 21 00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:42,436 No. 22 00:01:42,728 --> 00:01:44,480 - Eddie! - No! 23 00:01:59,161 --> 00:02:01,622 You're missing the whole movie. 24 00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:05,251 Believe me, I ain't missing a thing. 25 00:02:05,543 --> 00:02:07,253 No one understands Bettina. 26 00:02:07,545 --> 00:02:09,672 Her screen persona is a brilliant comment 27 00:02:09,964 --> 00:02:14,385 on the entire sociopolitical structure of stardom. 28 00:02:14,677 --> 00:02:15,821 Jeeper, do you get all of that 29 00:02:15,845 --> 00:02:18,597 from the pizza waitress with three heads? 30 00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:22,184 Well, I guess we are the only ones watching the movie. 31 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:26,564 These guys have only one thing on their minds. 32 00:02:26,856 --> 00:02:28,941 Want a wiener? 33 00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:37,408 Oh, hey there, Lars. 34 00:02:37,700 --> 00:02:40,494 Oh, I love the smells of America... 35 00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:42,288 Hot dogs, popcorn... 36 00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:43,789 - Car exhaust? - Mm. 37 00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:45,875 Lars, being how you're from Sweden, 38 00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:47,668 the sex capital of the entire world... 39 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,712 - Mm-hmm... - Could you tell me 40 00:02:50,004 --> 00:02:50,629 what's wrong with me? 41 00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:52,715 What? There's nothing wrong with you. 42 00:02:53,007 --> 00:02:55,301 Suddenly every girl I know is boy crazy. 43 00:02:55,593 --> 00:02:57,720 Golly, if some dork stuck his tongue down my throat, 44 00:02:58,012 --> 00:02:59,889 I'd barf! Ugh! I'd belt him. 45 00:03:00,181 --> 00:03:01,181 I'd kick him in the nuts. 46 00:03:01,307 --> 00:03:02,933 You're just a typical American girl. 47 00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:06,979 One day soon, you'll wake up and explode into a woman. 48 00:03:08,147 --> 00:03:12,067 Well, my date will be anxious for these buns to be hot. 49 00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:13,736 Bye-bye. 50 00:03:14,028 --> 00:03:14,653 Where you going, lover? 51 00:03:14,945 --> 00:03:16,825 I'm going to the head to get us a you-know-what. 52 00:03:17,031 --> 00:03:19,158 I don't want my girl spending her Christmas 53 00:03:19,450 --> 00:03:20,951 in a home for unwed mamas. 54 00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:30,794 - Oh, hey, there, Rhonda. - Hi, Florence. 55 00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:32,421 You got yourself a heavy date? 56 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:33,714 I'm here with Berdine. 57 00:03:34,006 --> 00:03:36,091 You'd think it was a crime against the nation 58 00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:37,694 to go to a drive-in with more than 59 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:38,958 kissy-kissy stuff on your mind. 60 00:03:39,053 --> 00:03:40,864 Well, you do have a quaint way of looking at things. 61 00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:44,141 Hey, is it true you're going to Europe at the end of the summer? 62 00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:47,019 No, we just have a Swedish exchange student 63 00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:47,686 staying with us. 64 00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:49,605 Oh, I heard you were going to Denmark. 65 00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,023 Where'd you get that idea? 66 00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:52,435 I heard you were going there 67 00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:54,944 to have some sort of an operation. 68 00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:55,694 An operation? 69 00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:57,066 Yeah, I heard you're having 70 00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:59,573 your dick cut off and turning into a girl. 71 00:03:59,865 --> 00:04:01,242 That's not funny. 72 00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:02,701 Kisses. 73 00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:11,919 Hey, Pea Brain, who's that guy in the next car? 74 00:04:12,211 --> 00:04:14,755 - You know him? - Yeah, I know him. 75 00:04:15,047 --> 00:04:16,090 Calls himself Starcat. 76 00:04:16,382 --> 00:04:17,633 Dropped out of Northwestern, 77 00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:20,719 hangs out in Malibu with a bunch of surf bums. 78 00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:24,139 Strictly a loser from Loserville. 79 00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:36,235 Sergeant, this young woman is the victim 80 00:04:36,527 --> 00:04:38,237 of nuclear testing. 81 00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:42,491 Her cells appear to be in a constant state of mutation 82 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:47,329 aggravated by intense sexual frustration. 83 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:50,291 - Can I help you? - Well, let's see. 84 00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:51,582 I'll have a frank, 85 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:55,379 and with it, golly, I'm not sure. 86 00:04:55,671 --> 00:04:56,671 What would be good? 87 00:04:56,755 --> 00:04:59,842 And what can I do for you, Doll? 88 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:08,726 Who do you have to fuck to get a hot dog in this dump? 89 00:05:09,018 --> 00:05:09,560 Say what? 90 00:05:09,852 --> 00:05:10,852 You heard me, Buster, 91 00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:13,105 and I'm not paying extra for dialogue, 92 00:05:13,397 --> 00:05:15,274 so cut the chin music. 93 00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:23,240 Hey. 94 00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:42,343 Aah! 95 00:05:57,274 --> 00:05:58,274 ♪ Psycho ♪ 96 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:03,864 ♪ Psycho ♪ 97 00:06:08,619 --> 00:06:10,371 ♪ Psycho ♪ 98 00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:12,498 ♪ Ha ha ha ha ♪ 99 00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:10,472 ♪ Psycho ♪ 100 00:07:14,810 --> 00:07:16,061 ♪ Psycho ♪ 101 00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:22,818 ♪ Psycho ♪ 102 00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:25,779 ♪ Ha ha ha ha ♪ 103 00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:42,546 ♪ Psycho ♪ 104 00:07:45,591 --> 00:07:47,259 It was horrible. 105 00:07:47,551 --> 00:07:48,135 So much blood, 106 00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:50,053 like something out of Dostoevsky. 107 00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:51,865 What took you so long at the snack bar? 108 00:07:51,889 --> 00:07:54,009 Well, I was about to order, when the next thing I knew 109 00:07:54,266 --> 00:07:59,480 the guy at the counter went AWOL for some sweater job. 110 00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:04,276 Captain Monica Stark, L.A. Sheriff's Department. 111 00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:05,568 Detective Molasky. 112 00:08:05,611 --> 00:08:08,489 Now, don't tell me... Florence, Berdine. 113 00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:11,200 - Wow, you're good. - It's my job. 114 00:08:11,492 --> 00:08:13,911 I understand you both were at the drive-in last night. 115 00:08:14,203 --> 00:08:16,622 Oh, yeah, Berdine's the gal who found the body. 116 00:08:16,914 --> 00:08:19,708 I want to know exactly what you heard 117 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,001 and exactly what you saw. 118 00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:21,752 Well, it's hard 119 00:08:22,044 --> 00:08:25,839 because I was concentrating on the subtext of the film. 120 00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:26,715 What about you, Florence? 121 00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,801 Well, I guess I was coming back from the snack bar. 122 00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:31,428 Did you notice anything... 123 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,013 unusual, anything at all? 124 00:08:33,305 --> 00:08:34,425 Well, to be honest with you, 125 00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:36,266 the whole night's something of a blur. 126 00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:39,603 I bet some rat fink spiked my orangeade. 127 00:08:43,607 --> 00:08:45,317 Hello, girls. 128 00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:46,609 Hi, Mom. 129 00:08:46,777 --> 00:08:47,319 Florence, hop in. 130 00:08:47,611 --> 00:08:49,589 I thought you were gonna help me pickle those beets. 131 00:08:49,613 --> 00:08:50,697 Oh, I was just on my way. 132 00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:52,109 I got to skedaddle. Toodles. 133 00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:54,868 We haven't quite finished. 134 00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:56,567 May I ask what's going on here? 135 00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:59,039 There was a murder at the drive-in last night, 136 00:08:59,331 --> 00:09:03,377 white female, 17, sleeping it off in the morgue. 137 00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:05,921 A murder? And you didn't tell me? 138 00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:07,339 I didn't want to upset you. 139 00:09:07,631 --> 00:09:10,884 What were you doing around 9:00 p.m., Mrs. Forrest? 140 00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:15,347 What any woman should be doing at that hour... needlepoint. 141 00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:16,056 Yes. Uh, Florence, 142 00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:18,475 if you wouldn't mind answering a few more questions, 143 00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:20,060 - I... - I don't think so. 144 00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:21,061 We have beets to pickle, 145 00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:23,355 and Florence has to practice her oboe. 146 00:09:23,647 --> 00:09:25,482 She has a recital coming up. 147 00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:26,316 Mrs. Forrest, I... 148 00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:27,693 Florence, dear, the car. 149 00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:29,736 Wait... now just one minudo, sister, 150 00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:32,364 before we toss you both in the holding tank. 151 00:09:32,656 --> 00:09:35,742 Show me a subpoena, flatfoot. 152 00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:41,290 Madam Detective, I will not have my daughter 153 00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:45,043 interrogated by the Secret Police. 154 00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:46,335 As far as I know, 155 00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:50,299 we are not yet a part of the Soviet Union. 156 00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:57,180 Good afternoon, Mrs. Forrest, Florence. 157 00:09:57,472 --> 00:10:00,517 Lars, where are you off to with that enormous satchel, 158 00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,144 robbing a bank? 159 00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:04,730 - Laundry time. - Leave that to me, Lars. 160 00:10:05,022 --> 00:10:06,273 It's women's work. 161 00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:08,400 I do not wish to impose myself on you. 162 00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:10,527 Nonsense. It would be a pleasure. 163 00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:12,904 I haven't washed a man's personal things 164 00:10:13,196 --> 00:10:14,656 since Mr. Forrest passed on. 165 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,908 Perhaps it's time you considered remarriage. 166 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,910 Oh, Lars, you're outrageous. 167 00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:22,039 I lost two husbands in the Big War and one in Korea. 168 00:10:22,331 --> 00:10:26,418 No, my future lies in my widow's pensions. 169 00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:27,961 I mean pension. 170 00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:28,754 Now, off with you. 171 00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:30,797 You'll find everything folded on your bed. 172 00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:33,634 Mrs. Forrest, as Florence would say, 173 00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:36,136 you are fantabulous. 174 00:10:36,428 --> 00:10:41,016 Well, they know how to grow 'em in Sweden. 175 00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:47,856 Mother, can't you just throw that in the machine? 176 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,317 Oh, darling, you know I'm a perfectionist. 177 00:10:50,609 --> 00:10:52,903 Oh, just look at these urine stains. 178 00:10:53,195 --> 00:10:55,864 They may never come out completely. 179 00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:59,785 Gee, Marvel Ann, I can't believe you called. 180 00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:01,953 I mean, I honestly thought you'd written me off 181 00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:04,873 as the geekiest geek of all time. 182 00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:07,000 Keep moving. 183 00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:09,294 We've never been to Malibu before. 184 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,088 What made you want to come here? 185 00:11:11,380 --> 00:11:13,256 - I have my reasons. - Wait a minute, guys. 186 00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:14,588 I feel my nose blistering. 187 00:11:14,758 --> 00:11:16,885 - I got to put some... - If you put any of that 188 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:18,720 disgusting white gook on your nose, 189 00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:22,641 I will wring your scrawny neck until your eyes pop out. 190 00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:23,392 I'm sorry. 191 00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:25,519 I happen to be allergic to the sun. 192 00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:28,105 It's true. Her face turns fire-engine red 193 00:11:28,397 --> 00:11:28,897 and her lips blow up. 194 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,733 And I get this terrible chafing between my legs. 195 00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:35,487 Spare me the details, Berdine. 196 00:11:37,155 --> 00:11:39,825 Oh, darn, I left my goggles and flippers in the car. 197 00:11:40,117 --> 00:11:43,954 I think you're forgetting the reason we're here. 198 00:11:44,246 --> 00:11:47,624 This... is a man hunt. 199 00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:50,919 Let's set our traps. 200 00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,855 Can't we just have a good time by ourselves? 201 00:12:10,147 --> 00:12:12,899 I mean, why do we have to bother with them? 202 00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:14,191 Don't be a dip. 203 00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:17,237 You've got the sex drive of a Milk Dud. 204 00:12:17,529 --> 00:12:18,989 You're 16, girl. 205 00:12:19,281 --> 00:12:19,823 Get with the action. 206 00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:25,454 Just look at that water overflowing with boys. 207 00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:30,751 Those guys are flying over those waves. 208 00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:34,880 It's the romping, stomping, living end! 209 00:12:42,554 --> 00:12:43,754 I'm heading down to the water. 210 00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:47,017 You guys stay right here and wait for my signal. 211 00:12:47,309 --> 00:12:48,935 They look like beatniks. 212 00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:51,313 Should I unpack my bongos? 213 00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:54,816 I intend to unpack mine. 214 00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:00,238 Whoo, flip my fins, daddy-o. 215 00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:02,616 You see me getting tubed on that outsider? 216 00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:06,036 I got a tube for you. Why don't you ride this? 217 00:13:07,204 --> 00:13:08,538 Get him, man. 218 00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:09,830 All right, Yo Yo. 219 00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:34,064 Yo yo! 220 00:13:34,356 --> 00:13:35,398 Yeah! Uhh! 221 00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:36,107 Aah! 222 00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:39,236 Oh, no, what am I gonna do? 223 00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:45,116 Oh, oh, this is so embarrassing, I could die. 224 00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:48,662 Could you help me tie my straps? 225 00:13:49,079 --> 00:13:52,290 You know, this could be a subconscious reflex 226 00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:54,960 of an overly stimulated libido. 227 00:13:55,252 --> 00:13:58,797 Say, that sounds dirty. 228 00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:00,215 Oh, I'm sorry. 229 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:05,595 I'm a refugee from the psych department at Northwestern. 230 00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:07,138 Starcat's the name. 231 00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:10,809 Hey, didn't I see you at the drive-in movie theater? 232 00:14:11,101 --> 00:14:12,101 Uh-huh. 233 00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:13,227 I'm Marvel Ann. 234 00:14:13,270 --> 00:14:14,729 I'm surprised you remember me. 235 00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,421 There was a lot going on that night. 236 00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:19,568 I mean, that girl getting her throat slashed and all. 237 00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:22,487 Well, she wasn't the only one murdered. 238 00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:24,865 You killed me with that look. 239 00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:28,910 Are those your friends? 240 00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:29,744 Oh, hardly. 241 00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:31,636 The one with the Coke bottles on her eyes 242 00:14:31,663 --> 00:14:33,623 has something that resembles a car. 243 00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:35,035 My folks took my wheels away 244 00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:36,960 'cause I ran over an old lady in a crosswalk. 245 00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:39,421 Parents are such squares! 246 00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:40,213 That was so nifty. 247 00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:42,632 You guys were flying over those waves like a comet. 248 00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:45,260 I've never seen anything like it. 249 00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:46,552 Excuse me? 250 00:14:46,595 --> 00:14:47,178 Oh, I'm Florence. 251 00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:48,930 Gosh, how'd you learn to do that? 252 00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:50,390 Florence, would you mind? 253 00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:52,517 Maybe we should get some lunch. 254 00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:53,935 Oh, you guys were boss. 255 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,427 You make it look so darn easy. 256 00:14:55,604 --> 00:14:58,148 Easy? It takes years to fly on top of the soup. 257 00:14:58,440 --> 00:14:59,560 You got to stay in the curl. 258 00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:02,319 There's turning, stalling, trimming, riding the nose. 259 00:15:02,611 --> 00:15:06,031 Alley-oops, duck dives, flying through a wipeout. 260 00:15:06,323 --> 00:15:08,158 Knowing your way around point breaks, 261 00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:10,035 reef breaks, shore breaks. 262 00:15:10,327 --> 00:15:12,495 Yeah, doing the turtle, little nose dips. 263 00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:15,165 - Switch stance and spinners. - Wow. 264 00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:17,792 I just love to watch. 265 00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:18,668 Well, I want to learn. 266 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:22,088 You guys mind if I tag along with you next time you go out? 267 00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:25,508 Forget it. Girls can't surf. 268 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:28,637 The male of the species are natural-born hunters, 269 00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:30,209 and our prey is the perfect wave. 270 00:15:30,472 --> 00:15:32,557 I mean, heck, a surfboard's even a phallic symbol. 271 00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:35,018 Well, I don't know about all that phallic stuff, 272 00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:37,687 but I'm a terrific swimmer and a quick study. 273 00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:40,857 Aw, the Great Kanaka would cool to sub-zero 274 00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:42,776 if we let a chick tag along. 275 00:15:43,068 --> 00:15:44,152 Who's the Great Kanaka? 276 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:48,031 Only the greatest surfer of all time... the Pope. 277 00:15:48,323 --> 00:15:50,659 Well, maybe he'll teach me how to surf. 278 00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:51,951 Oh, Yeah. 279 00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:53,033 Kanaka's a world champion. 280 00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:57,248 He's not gonna splash around with a half-pint like you. 281 00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:58,583 Well, what about you? 282 00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:00,395 Are you too big a fish to teach a girl? 283 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:04,214 Ooh, Starcat has a fan. 284 00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:05,506 Ain't he simply gorgeous? 285 00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:08,969 Hold me close, you great big hunk of he-man. 286 00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:09,803 Knock it off. 287 00:16:10,095 --> 00:16:11,415 Kid, listen to it in high-fidelity 288 00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:14,975 stereophonic sound... Surfing's a man's domain. 289 00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:16,726 No minnows in the shark tank. 290 00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:21,189 I guess the fella's just not interested. 291 00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:24,401 Oh, no, I'm afraid of sharks. 292 00:16:24,693 --> 00:16:28,113 All points bulletin for a big strong hero! 293 00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:30,155 Yeah! Cowabunga! 294 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:33,702 There is no reason in the world I can't be one of them. 295 00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:37,038 I've got to ingratiate myself, but how? 296 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,874 Those guys are interested in only two things, 297 00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:43,253 and you don't have either of them. 298 00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:51,928 Ugh! 299 00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:54,139 Man, there went lunch. 300 00:16:54,431 --> 00:16:55,511 I was down to my last peso. 301 00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:58,643 Oh, well, like, hey, you can have the rest of my hot dog, 302 00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:00,655 and here, Berdine, you don't want this Coke. 303 00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:01,396 Hey! 304 00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:02,897 Sit down, take a load off. 305 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:07,193 Thanks for the chow. 306 00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:09,529 So why do you stay all covered up? 307 00:17:09,821 --> 00:17:11,181 Are you afraid of a little sunburn? 308 00:17:11,448 --> 00:17:11,990 It's good for you. 309 00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:15,201 I suffer from the heartbreak of psoriasis. 310 00:17:15,493 --> 00:17:18,038 My back is covered with the stuff. 311 00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:20,373 I'm sorry. But, uh... 312 00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:24,627 that football jersey looks really neato. 313 00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:28,048 So tell me about the Great Kanaka. 314 00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:30,133 Is he really nice, a lot of laughs? 315 00:17:30,425 --> 00:17:32,635 Kanaka goes to a different bop. 316 00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:34,888 He's a tip-top kaleidoscope of cool. 317 00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:35,847 Does he live around here? 318 00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:38,725 I mean, I can't even fathom where someone that fantabulous 319 00:17:39,017 --> 00:17:41,436 would call home except maybe, like, the White House. 320 00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:44,189 Ha ha! No, Kanaka has a place 321 00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:46,316 at the far end of the beach. 322 00:17:46,608 --> 00:17:51,404 Hey, you wouldn't be thinking about crashing his pad? 323 00:18:31,945 --> 00:18:35,031 What are you doing snooping around my shack? 324 00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:37,408 Are you the Great Kanaka? 325 00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:39,244 I am the man who rides the waves 326 00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:41,621 from Jay-pan to the Yucatan. 327 00:18:41,913 --> 00:18:43,164 I'm Florence. Oh, wow! 328 00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,834 This is like meeting Walt Disney or Helen Keller. 329 00:18:46,126 --> 00:18:47,544 I mean, you're a living legend. 330 00:18:47,836 --> 00:18:50,046 Hey, pour some water on the carburetor. 331 00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:51,589 Hey, is this thing real? 332 00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:53,341 You break it, you buy it. 333 00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:56,094 So what brings you to Kanaka's shack? 334 00:18:56,386 --> 00:18:58,972 Please, Great Kanaka, I want to learn how to surf, 335 00:18:59,264 --> 00:19:01,599 and none of the other fellas'll teach me. 336 00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:02,433 I'm desperate. 337 00:19:02,725 --> 00:19:04,310 Oh, yeah, we'd make quite a pair. 338 00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:08,231 Sorry, kid, go back to Mama and Papa Square. 339 00:19:08,565 --> 00:19:12,152 Yeah, I bet if I looked like this, you'd teach me. 340 00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:13,763 Pussycat, if you looked like that, 341 00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:17,073 we'd be doing more than chewing the fat. 342 00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:19,242 Numero uno, the water's what I crave. 343 00:19:19,534 --> 00:19:23,163 More than anything, I live for Mother Wave. 344 00:19:23,454 --> 00:19:26,624 More than anything, I live for Father Fuck. 345 00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:27,584 Florence? 346 00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:29,335 I'm afraid you got the wrong girl. 347 00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:31,921 Florence is not my name. 348 00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:33,213 Who are you? 349 00:19:33,256 --> 00:19:34,256 My name is Anne Bowman. 350 00:19:34,465 --> 00:19:35,842 I'm revealing my true nature. 351 00:19:36,134 --> 00:19:37,134 Listen, jailbait, 352 00:19:37,177 --> 00:19:39,345 if I didn't live by my personal code of honor, 353 00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:41,806 I'd take advantage of this situation, 354 00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:43,224 erotically, as it were. 355 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:46,060 I thought you were the man with the big cigar. 356 00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:47,812 What are you packing, a Tiparillo? 357 00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:51,149 More than you can handle. Now, before I get mad, 358 00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:52,859 kindly vacate my pad. 359 00:19:53,151 --> 00:19:56,029 Don't you turn your butt to me! 360 00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:57,614 Florence. 361 00:19:57,906 --> 00:20:00,825 My name isn't Florence. 362 00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:03,161 My name is Anne Bowman. 363 00:20:03,453 --> 00:20:05,205 Anne Bowman, Anne Bowman, 364 00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:06,122 Anne Bowman! 365 00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:08,917 Yeah, that's right, Anne Bowman. 366 00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:10,543 I frighten you, don't I? 367 00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:12,420 - I ain't scared. - You're lying. 368 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:15,298 Look at your hands. They're shaking like Jell-O. 369 00:20:15,590 --> 00:20:16,174 No, they ain't. 370 00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:17,759 You're scared. Say it! 371 00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:19,052 You're scared! 372 00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:21,804 - Yes. - Yes, what? 373 00:20:22,096 --> 00:20:23,514 Yes, ma'am? 374 00:20:23,806 --> 00:20:24,806 Ah, that's better. 375 00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:28,728 You're just a little slave boy, aren't you, Sonny? 376 00:20:29,020 --> 00:20:32,899 Ma'am, if you would, I ain't feeling so good. 377 00:20:33,191 --> 00:20:35,777 Listen, Sly, can the nursery rhyme. 378 00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:37,654 I know what you fantasize about. 379 00:20:37,946 --> 00:20:39,066 I know what you dream about, 380 00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:40,633 and I'm gonna give it to you in spades. 381 00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:43,826 To start, I think I'll walk you down to the beach 382 00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:45,161 on a leash, capisce? 383 00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:47,053 But what'll the rest of the fellas think? 384 00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:49,332 To hell with the rest of the fellas! 385 00:20:49,624 --> 00:20:52,418 I am the most important, me, Anne Bowman. 386 00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:54,963 I will not be cast aside. I will not be... 387 00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:57,090 Told a girl can't surf. I mean, golly, 388 00:20:57,382 --> 00:20:59,142 a girl can do all sorts of things these days, 389 00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:02,679 like be... an executive secretary. 390 00:21:02,971 --> 00:21:04,514 Anne? 391 00:21:04,806 --> 00:21:06,099 Anne? My name is Florence. 392 00:21:06,391 --> 00:21:08,184 It's Squaresville, but what the heck? 393 00:21:08,476 --> 00:21:11,062 Do you remember what we were just talking about? 394 00:21:11,354 --> 00:21:12,874 Surfing lessons. Can we start tomorrow? 395 00:21:13,106 --> 00:21:15,066 I can see I'm wearing down your resistance. 396 00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:16,859 - You can say that again. - Yippee! 397 00:21:17,151 --> 00:21:17,610 I got to get moving. 398 00:21:17,902 --> 00:21:19,582 I got to round up a surfboard, not so easy, 399 00:21:19,737 --> 00:21:24,367 and then tomorrow we'll hit the old H2O. Toodles. 400 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:50,935 What? 401 00:21:51,227 --> 00:21:52,895 Look out for that outsider! 402 00:21:53,187 --> 00:21:55,273 - What? - Duck under! 403 00:21:55,565 --> 00:21:56,774 Whoa! 404 00:21:57,066 --> 00:21:59,152 Aah! 405 00:22:05,992 --> 00:22:07,243 Aah! 406 00:22:08,453 --> 00:22:10,788 I am sort of picking it up a little. 407 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:12,540 Oh, cool, baby, cool. 408 00:22:12,832 --> 00:22:13,832 You're a demon. 409 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,585 - Ow! - Anne? 410 00:22:15,877 --> 00:22:17,128 Beg your pardon? 411 00:22:17,420 --> 00:22:19,422 Nothing. 412 00:22:21,466 --> 00:22:23,266 Kanaka, I don't mean to be scraping your fins, 413 00:22:23,343 --> 00:22:26,721 but you can't let a chick infiltrate our stag clan, man. 414 00:22:27,013 --> 00:22:28,532 That's how it starts. Next thing you know, 415 00:22:28,556 --> 00:22:31,225 you'll be eating frozen waffles and wearing a cardigan. 416 00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:34,020 Yeah, you're the Emperor of the Seven Seas. 417 00:22:34,312 --> 00:22:35,414 This makes us all look cheap. 418 00:22:35,438 --> 00:22:37,238 Hey, Kanaka doesn't have to answer to anybody. 419 00:22:37,523 --> 00:22:40,651 If he wants to indulge this pipsqueak's penis envy, 420 00:22:40,943 --> 00:22:43,071 that's his business. 421 00:22:43,363 --> 00:22:44,363 Yeah, so there. 422 00:22:44,405 --> 00:22:46,824 Kanaka, I thought you had some hot babe 423 00:22:47,116 --> 00:22:47,742 that you were seeing. 424 00:22:48,034 --> 00:22:49,285 You can't be that desperate. 425 00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:52,080 Yeah, but the new chick's as complex as a zodiac. 426 00:22:52,372 --> 00:22:54,540 You can never tell when she's coming back. 427 00:22:54,832 --> 00:22:58,252 You're not even a chick. You're a chicklet. 428 00:22:58,544 --> 00:22:59,544 Ha, ha, ha. 429 00:22:59,670 --> 00:23:01,381 Yeah, that should be your new name. 430 00:23:01,672 --> 00:23:02,340 Don't you dig it? 431 00:23:02,632 --> 00:23:05,218 It'll pass. The name's got class. 432 00:23:05,510 --> 00:23:07,470 I hereby dub you Chicklet. 433 00:23:07,762 --> 00:23:10,014 I'll buy it, I'll buy it. I'll be Chicklet. 434 00:23:10,306 --> 00:23:13,601 But does this mean I get to be part of the gang? 435 00:23:16,354 --> 00:23:18,898 There are some prize tomatoes in that tin can. 436 00:23:19,190 --> 00:23:22,485 I didn't think anybody lived in the Elkins' house. 437 00:23:22,777 --> 00:23:24,445 - For good reason. - How come? 438 00:23:24,737 --> 00:23:25,822 'Cause it's haunted. 439 00:23:26,114 --> 00:23:27,865 Really? Have you ever been inside? 440 00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:28,658 In my time. 441 00:23:28,950 --> 00:23:30,451 There are ghosts, all right. 442 00:23:30,743 --> 00:23:32,703 I could feel it in my nuts. 443 00:23:32,995 --> 00:23:33,579 You and your nuts. 444 00:23:33,871 --> 00:23:36,290 I've had a man's hairy balls since I was eight. 445 00:23:36,582 --> 00:23:38,376 It's the source of my power. 446 00:23:38,668 --> 00:23:40,753 They tell me the weather, time of day, 447 00:23:41,045 --> 00:23:43,840 if there's a pile-up on Route 66. 448 00:23:44,132 --> 00:23:46,592 Did something really awful happen in that house? 449 00:23:46,884 --> 00:23:48,469 A bunch of people died there. 450 00:23:48,761 --> 00:23:52,140 Some people were born to die. 451 00:23:54,350 --> 00:23:54,809 Here you go. 452 00:23:55,101 --> 00:23:58,646 Aw, Berdine, hon, your little friend's awfully late. 453 00:23:58,938 --> 00:24:03,025 Hey, I got a roast beef au jus with your initials on it, hmm? 454 00:24:03,317 --> 00:24:06,195 Mm, no, thanks. I'll wait a little longer. 455 00:24:06,487 --> 00:24:08,030 - All right. - Pat? 456 00:24:08,322 --> 00:24:09,322 Sorry you're going bald, 457 00:24:09,490 --> 00:24:12,076 but finding clumps of hair in the chicken a la king, 458 00:24:12,368 --> 00:24:13,453 frankly, grossed me out. 459 00:24:13,744 --> 00:24:16,205 It's reflected in your gratuity. 460 00:24:16,497 --> 00:24:18,332 Well, I never. 461 00:24:18,624 --> 00:24:20,710 And my hair is not... 462 00:24:23,921 --> 00:24:25,047 Hi, Berdine. 463 00:24:25,339 --> 00:24:27,842 Aw, you enjoy your own company, don't you? 464 00:24:28,134 --> 00:24:29,844 I'm waiting for Florence. 465 00:24:30,136 --> 00:24:32,847 Oh, you two used to be friends, right. 466 00:24:33,139 --> 00:24:34,724 What do you mean, used to be? 467 00:24:35,016 --> 00:24:36,809 I heard she dumped you now that she's got 468 00:24:37,101 --> 00:24:38,769 all these new friends down at the beach. 469 00:24:39,061 --> 00:24:41,063 Well, you heard wrong. 470 00:24:41,355 --> 00:24:42,675 I heard she calls herself Chicklet 471 00:24:42,773 --> 00:24:46,486 and that she's hanging out with that sleazy beach crowd. 472 00:24:46,777 --> 00:24:47,862 Florence is my best friend, 473 00:24:48,154 --> 00:24:50,740 and she's gonna be here any minute. 474 00:24:51,032 --> 00:24:52,112 What are you doing? What... 475 00:24:52,366 --> 00:24:54,619 Yo Yo, give her the Chinese tickle torture. 476 00:24:54,911 --> 00:24:56,662 Ole! Ole, toro, toro! 477 00:24:56,954 --> 00:24:58,873 No, anything but that! 478 00:24:59,165 --> 00:25:02,668 Aah! 479 00:25:04,003 --> 00:25:06,464 Hey, let's invite them to the luau. 480 00:25:06,756 --> 00:25:09,509 T.J., toss them a line. They'll do fine. 481 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:10,134 What luau? 482 00:25:10,426 --> 00:25:12,762 Just the whippin', flippin', rippin', 483 00:25:13,054 --> 00:25:14,323 biggest event of the whole summer. 484 00:25:14,347 --> 00:25:16,807 A wild night. Know how to spell orgy? 485 00:25:17,099 --> 00:25:19,268 Better than you. Well, I want to go! 486 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,938 Kid, you're definitely not the luau type. 487 00:25:22,230 --> 00:25:24,148 But those two angels are. 488 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:25,440 Junior, you coming? 489 00:25:25,691 --> 00:25:26,776 No, I'm gonna stick around. 490 00:25:27,068 --> 00:25:30,279 There's still some great shore breaks. 491 00:25:39,038 --> 00:25:42,041 No man rejects Anne Bowman. 492 00:25:42,333 --> 00:25:44,919 Anne Bowman invented luaus. 493 00:25:45,211 --> 00:25:48,047 Anne Bowman invented orgies! 494 00:25:48,339 --> 00:25:52,093 Anne Bowman invented revenge. 495 00:26:09,819 --> 00:26:14,991 Guys, any of you know a surefire cure for constipation? 496 00:26:15,283 --> 00:26:16,826 I got it real bad. 497 00:26:17,118 --> 00:26:18,703 It's wrecking my center of gravity. 498 00:26:18,995 --> 00:26:20,035 It could be psychological. 499 00:26:20,121 --> 00:26:23,583 A secret or a repressed longing can lead to anal retention. 500 00:26:23,874 --> 00:26:26,502 Oh, that's silly. My mom swears by enemas 501 00:26:26,794 --> 00:26:29,797 filled with Epsom salt and beef broth. 502 00:26:30,089 --> 00:26:31,340 Butt out. 503 00:26:31,632 --> 00:26:33,593 Provoloney, we got to dig deep, 504 00:26:33,884 --> 00:26:37,972 deep into that inner dark place where your fear lives. 505 00:26:38,264 --> 00:26:40,850 I'll take an Ex-Lax. 506 00:26:41,350 --> 00:26:44,312 On this fine morning, how is your Flipness? 507 00:26:44,604 --> 00:26:48,024 His Flipness is ready to lead his troop into the soup. 508 00:26:48,316 --> 00:26:50,276 - Where's Junior? - Yeah. 509 00:26:50,568 --> 00:26:53,070 Haven't seen him since yesterday. 510 00:26:53,362 --> 00:26:55,615 Wasn't he with you, Chicklet? 511 00:26:55,906 --> 00:26:57,825 Well, yeah, I guess, for a while. 512 00:26:58,117 --> 00:27:03,581 Kanaka, did you, um, shave off all your chest hair? 513 00:27:03,873 --> 00:27:05,124 Yeah, well, Olympic swimmers 514 00:27:05,416 --> 00:27:09,128 shave their body so's they can move faster through the water. 515 00:27:09,420 --> 00:27:12,548 Yeah, does your new lady friend like it that way? 516 00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:13,549 Oh, yeah, baby. 517 00:27:13,841 --> 00:27:15,176 My shave got a rave. 518 00:27:15,468 --> 00:27:18,054 - Wedgie attack! - Ah! 519 00:27:18,721 --> 00:27:21,849 You guys. Ha ha. 520 00:27:23,184 --> 00:27:25,144 Cowabunga! 521 00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:28,939 Come on, Yo Yo! 522 00:27:29,231 --> 00:27:31,609 Yo Yo, yo! 523 00:27:43,954 --> 00:27:46,165 Ah... 524 00:27:48,334 --> 00:27:51,837 All right, guys, come on. That's, uh, that's enough. 525 00:27:52,129 --> 00:27:54,590 Ah... uhh... 526 00:27:59,679 --> 00:28:02,431 Ah, man, I've got you now. 527 00:28:02,723 --> 00:28:06,185 Aah! What the hell is that? 528 00:28:06,727 --> 00:28:10,564 Yo, it's got psoriasis on it. 529 00:28:10,856 --> 00:28:12,316 Junior. 530 00:28:17,405 --> 00:28:19,657 How long's he been planted there? 531 00:28:19,949 --> 00:28:20,408 Oh, maybe six hours. 532 00:28:20,700 --> 00:28:24,495 We've located the pancreas, the intestines, and a big toe. 533 00:28:24,787 --> 00:28:26,038 And this group of deadbeats? 534 00:28:26,330 --> 00:28:30,000 Alibis as tight as Sandra Dee's butt. 535 00:28:30,292 --> 00:28:32,920 Except that one. 536 00:28:34,755 --> 00:28:38,175 Well, here we are at yet another murder. 537 00:28:38,467 --> 00:28:41,846 I'd rather we met for miniature golf. 538 00:28:42,138 --> 00:28:43,138 He was my friend. 539 00:28:43,264 --> 00:28:45,349 I understand that at the time of the murder 540 00:28:45,641 --> 00:28:46,921 you were walking along the beach. 541 00:28:47,017 --> 00:28:51,147 Run into anyone on this relaxing stroll? 542 00:28:51,439 --> 00:28:53,482 I saw her. 543 00:28:53,774 --> 00:28:54,275 Chicklet, 544 00:28:54,608 --> 00:28:57,987 how come you didn't tell her I bought you a burger and fries? 545 00:28:58,279 --> 00:29:01,949 The Great Kanaka, leader of the pack. 546 00:29:02,241 --> 00:29:04,160 Long time, no see. 547 00:29:04,452 --> 00:29:05,452 Still following the sun? 548 00:29:05,661 --> 00:29:08,164 Still walking the straight and narrow-minded? 549 00:29:08,456 --> 00:29:10,499 Still intend to knock down this fire trap 550 00:29:10,791 --> 00:29:11,459 you call a bachelor pad. 551 00:29:11,751 --> 00:29:15,379 Come by with those handcuffs, and we'll burn it down... 552 00:29:15,671 --> 00:29:16,714 together. 553 00:29:17,006 --> 00:29:17,506 Oh! 554 00:29:17,798 --> 00:29:20,176 You forget that I'm both a cop and a lady. 555 00:29:20,468 --> 00:29:21,135 Why you picking on us? 556 00:29:21,427 --> 00:29:22,970 We didn't do nothing wrong. 557 00:29:23,262 --> 00:29:24,305 Because I don't like you. 558 00:29:24,597 --> 00:29:28,517 Don't like the way you talk. Don't like the way you walk. 559 00:29:28,809 --> 00:29:30,227 Don't like your haircut. 560 00:29:30,519 --> 00:29:32,438 You kids think you own this beach, 561 00:29:32,730 --> 00:29:34,982 think it's a teenage world. 562 00:29:35,274 --> 00:29:36,484 Well, you're dead wrong. 563 00:29:36,776 --> 00:29:39,028 Are you gonna arrest us? 564 00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:40,738 I might. 565 00:29:41,030 --> 00:29:41,489 I've got methods 566 00:29:41,781 --> 00:29:44,200 that can get the truth out of the most hardened criminal. 567 00:29:44,492 --> 00:29:45,159 I have a special room. 568 00:29:45,451 --> 00:29:48,454 Picture it, if you will... cold steel, 569 00:29:48,746 --> 00:29:51,290 blinding lights, Formica coffee table. 570 00:29:51,582 --> 00:29:52,582 Oh, I've heard enough. 571 00:29:52,708 --> 00:29:56,587 Well, you'll be hearing more from me, especially you, 572 00:29:56,879 --> 00:29:59,006 Mr. Kanaka. 573 00:29:59,298 --> 00:30:01,258 Cookie. 574 00:30:04,428 --> 00:30:07,056 Kanaka, why's she got it in for you so bad? 575 00:30:07,348 --> 00:30:10,476 I boffed her once in West Covina. 576 00:30:11,602 --> 00:30:14,980 Carving up Junior like a Thanksgiving turkey? 577 00:30:15,272 --> 00:30:18,484 How does a monster like that sleep at night? 578 00:30:18,776 --> 00:30:22,738 If you're insane, you might not even remember you did it. 579 00:30:23,030 --> 00:30:26,200 You might not remember anything. 580 00:30:35,626 --> 00:30:39,672 Lars? It's 2:00 in the morning, and you're doing laundry? 581 00:30:39,964 --> 00:30:42,216 Did I make too much noise? 582 00:30:42,508 --> 00:30:44,218 Oh, only to someone with insomnia. 583 00:30:44,510 --> 00:30:47,513 And why should you have trouble sleeping? 584 00:30:47,805 --> 00:30:48,264 Inner demons. 585 00:30:48,556 --> 00:30:50,575 Oh, you ate too much of your mother's beef tornadoes. 586 00:30:50,599 --> 00:30:54,353 If I didn't stop you, you would have taken all my meat. 587 00:30:54,645 --> 00:30:55,813 Lars, haven't you heard? 588 00:30:56,105 --> 00:30:58,607 One of my friends was found murdered today, 589 00:30:58,899 --> 00:30:59,900 hacked up to bits, 590 00:31:00,192 --> 00:31:02,611 and it looks like I was the last one to see him alive. 591 00:31:02,903 --> 00:31:06,365 Do you have any idea who would do such a terrible thing? 592 00:31:06,657 --> 00:31:10,744 No, but then I wonder if maybe I did see something 593 00:31:11,036 --> 00:31:15,416 but I can't remember, like a mental block. 594 00:31:15,708 --> 00:31:16,333 Oh... 595 00:31:16,625 --> 00:31:18,335 It's very sad about your friend, 596 00:31:18,627 --> 00:31:21,380 but you must not torture yourself. 597 00:31:21,672 --> 00:31:22,214 You are alive. 598 00:31:22,506 --> 00:31:26,385 You must go out and surf the waves just like your friend 599 00:31:26,677 --> 00:31:27,094 would have done. 600 00:31:27,386 --> 00:31:30,848 As my old grandmother, Ingrid, used to say, "Lars..." 601 00:31:37,479 --> 00:31:39,315 That's what she said, huh? 602 00:31:39,607 --> 00:31:40,232 - Yeah. - Well, I guess 603 00:31:40,524 --> 00:31:44,111 that does make me feel a little better. 604 00:32:00,711 --> 00:32:05,841 And the papa bear said, "Who's been sleeping in my sandbox?" 605 00:32:06,133 --> 00:32:07,635 Oh, am I trespassing? 606 00:32:07,927 --> 00:32:08,469 I had no idea. 607 00:32:08,761 --> 00:32:10,054 Say, you look real familiar. 608 00:32:10,346 --> 00:32:11,388 Oh, no, I don't. 609 00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:13,724 Give us a clue. What's your name? 610 00:32:14,016 --> 00:32:16,602 I'm afraid I can't answer that. 611 00:32:16,894 --> 00:32:18,062 Are you incognito? 612 00:32:18,354 --> 00:32:20,272 No, I'm German-Irish. 613 00:32:20,564 --> 00:32:22,066 Wait a minute. 614 00:32:22,358 --> 00:32:24,610 Chicklet, move a little to the left. 615 00:32:24,902 --> 00:32:25,611 A little more. 616 00:32:25,903 --> 00:32:27,321 And Yo Yo, lean your head in closer. 617 00:32:27,613 --> 00:32:29,490 Keep going. Yeah, that's it! 618 00:32:29,782 --> 00:32:31,951 The pizza waitress with three heads. 619 00:32:32,242 --> 00:32:34,370 - Bettina Barnes? - Shh! 620 00:32:34,662 --> 00:32:37,623 No one must know my true identity. 621 00:32:37,915 --> 00:32:39,249 I ran away from the studio. 622 00:32:39,541 --> 00:32:42,753 You can't imagine what it's like being exploited 623 00:32:43,045 --> 00:32:46,632 by those lousy flesh peddlers and power brokers, 624 00:32:46,924 --> 00:32:49,426 everyone wanting a little piece. 625 00:32:49,718 --> 00:32:51,553 I'm not a pepperoni. 626 00:32:51,845 --> 00:32:54,556 I saw that one flick, Sex Kittens Go to Outer Space? 627 00:32:54,848 --> 00:33:00,020 It was a good film, then I had to do the four sequels. 628 00:33:00,312 --> 00:33:00,771 Quelle trash. 629 00:33:01,063 --> 00:33:04,817 They have no respect for the rights of the individual. 630 00:33:05,109 --> 00:33:06,735 We'll respect you. 631 00:33:07,027 --> 00:33:09,029 Ah, would you really? 632 00:33:09,321 --> 00:33:10,990 You see, I'm hiding out here 633 00:33:11,281 --> 00:33:13,283 until the studio agrees to my terms, 634 00:33:13,575 --> 00:33:16,495 both script director and hairdo approval. 635 00:33:16,787 --> 00:33:17,955 Florence, there you are! 636 00:33:18,247 --> 00:33:22,710 Yesterday I waited for you at Auggie's for over two hours. 637 00:33:23,002 --> 00:33:24,104 Please, my name is Chicklet. 638 00:33:24,128 --> 00:33:27,006 Yes, you're definitely not Florence anymore. 639 00:33:27,297 --> 00:33:28,799 Bettina Barnes! 640 00:33:29,091 --> 00:33:30,634 Shh! She's in hiding. 641 00:33:30,926 --> 00:33:33,095 Oh, Bettina Barnes in person. 642 00:33:33,387 --> 00:33:35,187 I loved you in the Tarantula Queen of Hoboken. 643 00:33:35,472 --> 00:33:40,185 I swear, I saw Sex Kittens and the Killer Meatballs 16 times. 644 00:33:40,477 --> 00:33:41,812 Oh, did you really? 645 00:33:42,104 --> 00:33:43,147 Oh, yes, Miss Barnes. 646 00:33:43,439 --> 00:33:44,839 You are more than a mere sex kitten. 647 00:33:45,065 --> 00:33:49,862 You are the feminine embodiment of the Nietzschean Superman, 648 00:33:50,154 --> 00:33:51,339 ever striding, striking a blow 649 00:33:51,363 --> 00:33:54,324 for the truth in the eternal battle of the sexes. 650 00:33:54,616 --> 00:33:59,413 That is what I have been telling my agent for months. 651 00:33:59,705 --> 00:34:01,206 What is your name? 652 00:34:01,498 --> 00:34:01,832 Berdine. 653 00:34:02,249 --> 00:34:05,586 Always was Berdine, always will be. 654 00:34:05,878 --> 00:34:07,087 Oh. Well, you know, 655 00:34:07,379 --> 00:34:11,175 I desperately need a secretary/companion/masseuse. 656 00:34:11,467 --> 00:34:14,762 How'd you like to have a job for the summer? 657 00:34:15,054 --> 00:34:15,596 I'm really honored, 658 00:34:15,888 --> 00:34:20,184 but Florence and I have a zillion things planned, and... 659 00:34:20,476 --> 00:34:23,604 I'd love to be your gal Friday. 660 00:34:23,896 --> 00:34:24,521 When do I start? 661 00:34:24,813 --> 00:34:26,231 Pronto. Come inside. 662 00:34:26,523 --> 00:34:30,319 I am gonna let you into my private world. 663 00:34:30,611 --> 00:34:33,072 We are gonna have a blast. 664 00:35:08,607 --> 00:35:10,109 Chicklet! 665 00:35:43,267 --> 00:35:44,852 Are you okay? 666 00:35:45,144 --> 00:35:46,895 How come you helped me? 667 00:35:47,187 --> 00:35:49,231 I thought you would have let me drown. 668 00:35:49,523 --> 00:35:52,317 What would you say a crazy thing like that for? 669 00:35:52,609 --> 00:35:55,612 It's common knowledge that you hate me. 670 00:35:55,904 --> 00:35:57,656 I don't hate you. 671 00:35:57,948 --> 00:35:59,658 I don't hate you at all. 672 00:35:59,950 --> 00:36:04,705 When you didn't come up, I suddenly thought... 673 00:36:04,997 --> 00:36:05,706 I thought, 674 00:36:05,998 --> 00:36:08,125 "Well, doesn't she know she should dive 675 00:36:08,417 --> 00:36:09,960 before the wipeout?" 676 00:36:10,252 --> 00:36:11,461 Of course I know that. 677 00:36:11,753 --> 00:36:12,754 It was an accident. 678 00:36:13,046 --> 00:36:17,259 But then, you never have accidents, do you, Mr. Perfect? 679 00:36:17,551 --> 00:36:19,761 Don't you ever call me that. 680 00:36:20,053 --> 00:36:21,805 What, Mr. Perfect? 681 00:36:22,097 --> 00:36:23,867 You don't know what it's like having everybody think 682 00:36:23,891 --> 00:36:28,103 you're the golden boy, perfectly smart, perfectly athletic. 683 00:36:28,395 --> 00:36:29,635 You can't imagine the pressure. 684 00:36:29,813 --> 00:36:32,608 And I thought all those people starving in India had it bad. 685 00:36:32,900 --> 00:36:34,610 It's a curse, but you're so wrapped up 686 00:36:34,902 --> 00:36:36,254 trying to prove you're one of the guys 687 00:36:36,278 --> 00:36:38,214 you've never given a thought to my personal anguish. 688 00:36:38,238 --> 00:36:40,782 Well, you're not a guy, and you never will be. 689 00:36:41,074 --> 00:36:42,576 Why... why can't you be 690 00:36:42,868 --> 00:36:44,912 a normal girl like Marvel Ann? 691 00:36:45,204 --> 00:36:48,081 Oh, I wish I could be more like her, 692 00:36:48,373 --> 00:36:49,917 so cultured, so refined. 693 00:36:50,209 --> 00:36:52,377 I can just imagine all those wonderful evenings 694 00:36:52,669 --> 00:36:56,173 you've spent together at the opera, museums, 695 00:36:56,465 --> 00:36:59,301 reading the great books. 696 00:36:59,593 --> 00:36:59,968 Aw, forget it! 697 00:37:00,260 --> 00:37:03,972 Next time you're drowning, you can save yourself. 698 00:37:04,264 --> 00:37:07,768 And no matter how hard you try, you will always be perfect! 699 00:37:08,060 --> 00:37:09,436 Perfect, perfect, perfect! 700 00:37:09,728 --> 00:37:13,315 Perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect eyes... 701 00:37:13,607 --> 00:37:17,402 perfectly perfect. 702 00:37:18,779 --> 00:37:20,322 Miss Barnes? 703 00:37:20,614 --> 00:37:21,782 Miss Barnes? 704 00:37:22,074 --> 00:37:25,202 Another lousy sci-fi horror flick. 705 00:37:25,494 --> 00:37:27,663 Berdine, I just... I can't identify 706 00:37:27,955 --> 00:37:29,706 with the Ratface Girl from Mars. 707 00:37:29,998 --> 00:37:31,083 Is it really that bad? 708 00:37:31,375 --> 00:37:35,796 Honey, Lassie could fart out a better script. 709 00:37:36,088 --> 00:37:38,090 Miss B, I found this photograph 710 00:37:38,382 --> 00:37:38,924 tucked away in a corner. 711 00:37:39,216 --> 00:37:41,510 - Is this your family? - Oh, no. 712 00:37:41,802 --> 00:37:44,054 I've never seen it before. 713 00:37:44,346 --> 00:37:47,516 Oh, come in, come in. 714 00:37:47,808 --> 00:37:48,868 We brought you some flowers, 715 00:37:48,892 --> 00:37:52,020 but I guess my body heat sort of slaughtered them. 716 00:37:52,312 --> 00:37:55,399 Oh, well, you must have one hot body. 717 00:37:55,691 --> 00:37:58,777 Hey there, Berdine. How's it going? 718 00:37:59,069 --> 00:38:01,613 Hey, look, Berdine just found this photo. 719 00:38:01,905 --> 00:38:02,447 I wonder who it could be. 720 00:38:02,739 --> 00:38:06,952 Whoa, this here's the flipside of cool. 721 00:38:07,244 --> 00:38:08,244 The Elkins family. 722 00:38:08,370 --> 00:38:10,539 Say, are those the people who... 723 00:38:10,831 --> 00:38:11,957 Oh, you can tell me. 724 00:38:12,249 --> 00:38:13,792 I like feeling tingles. 725 00:38:14,084 --> 00:38:14,793 Yeah, well, baby, this tale 726 00:38:15,085 --> 00:38:17,462 even makes my massive cojones rise. 727 00:38:17,754 --> 00:38:18,880 - Oh. - 15 years ago, 728 00:38:19,172 --> 00:38:20,966 the Elkins family made this joint their digs. 729 00:38:21,258 --> 00:38:24,636 Ten-year-old Larry was the youngest of the three kids. 730 00:38:24,928 --> 00:38:26,471 One hot summer night he couldn't sleep, 731 00:38:26,763 --> 00:38:28,724 so he took his mom's sharpest carving knife 732 00:38:29,016 --> 00:38:31,018 and hacked them all to death. 733 00:38:31,310 --> 00:38:33,729 Oh, look at my goose bumps. 734 00:38:34,021 --> 00:38:37,190 You know, they say this house is haunted. 735 00:38:37,482 --> 00:38:39,122 If you're scared, I'd like to make a pitch 736 00:38:39,276 --> 00:38:42,696 at being your bodyguard, all night long if need be. 737 00:38:42,988 --> 00:38:43,655 Oh, tres gallant. 738 00:38:43,947 --> 00:38:45,949 Miss B, I've got an even better idea. 739 00:38:46,241 --> 00:38:49,411 I've a book at home on Balinese exorcism rituals. 740 00:38:49,703 --> 00:38:52,456 I bet I could get rid of those ghosts. 741 00:38:52,748 --> 00:38:54,750 Oh, quelle fun. Let's do it. 742 00:38:55,042 --> 00:38:56,251 Yeah, let's do it. 743 00:38:56,543 --> 00:38:58,170 We'll have a slumber party chez moi, 744 00:38:58,462 --> 00:39:00,630 and we'll take a whack at some of those spells. 745 00:39:00,922 --> 00:39:04,509 That'll teach those evil spirits who's boss. 746 00:39:04,801 --> 00:39:05,801 Cool. 747 00:39:06,053 --> 00:39:10,015 A slumber party thrown by a movie actress? 748 00:39:10,307 --> 00:39:13,018 Oh, perhaps if it were Deborah Kerr 749 00:39:13,310 --> 00:39:16,188 or Audrey Hepburn, but Bettina Barnes? 750 00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:17,064 Out of the question. 751 00:39:17,356 --> 00:39:19,125 Oh, but Mother, it's not like we're going to be 752 00:39:19,149 --> 00:39:20,650 drag racing through Griffith Park. 753 00:39:20,942 --> 00:39:23,653 Florence, please get the eggs out of the Frigidaire. 754 00:39:23,945 --> 00:39:27,991 You're going to love this Bavarian custard pudding. 755 00:39:28,283 --> 00:39:29,659 But Mother... 756 00:39:29,993 --> 00:39:30,327 Dear, 757 00:39:30,619 --> 00:39:34,498 a slumber party is an invitation to sexual intercourse. 758 00:39:34,790 --> 00:39:36,875 Oh, I know how they paint it in the movies... 759 00:39:37,167 --> 00:39:39,586 A man and a woman locked in embrace, 760 00:39:39,878 --> 00:39:43,382 soft lighting, a pitcher of Manhattans, 761 00:39:43,673 --> 00:39:46,134 Rachmaninoff playing in the background. 762 00:39:46,426 --> 00:39:48,970 Well, my girl, that is not how it is. 763 00:39:49,262 --> 00:39:51,848 You have no idea how repugnant it can be to have 764 00:39:52,140 --> 00:39:54,142 a man's sweaty thing poking at you. 765 00:39:54,434 --> 00:39:55,434 - Ow. - You like that? 766 00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:56,996 - How does that feel? - Mother, stop, 767 00:39:57,020 --> 00:39:58,105 - you're hurting me. - Huh? 768 00:39:58,397 --> 00:40:02,901 That's nothing compared to when they poke you down there. 769 00:40:07,155 --> 00:40:08,824 Get them ugly old paws off me, bitch. 770 00:40:09,116 --> 00:40:11,034 - Florence... - Don't tell me how to handle 771 00:40:11,326 --> 00:40:12,606 my man's flippety-floppety, baby. 772 00:40:12,828 --> 00:40:14,668 I grease up the cake pan, throw it in the oven, 773 00:40:14,871 --> 00:40:18,542 - and let the batter rise. - Florence, stop it! 774 00:40:18,834 --> 00:40:19,960 Oh! 775 00:40:22,462 --> 00:40:25,465 Mother? Mother, what's wrong? 776 00:40:25,757 --> 00:40:27,134 Why are you crying? 777 00:40:29,928 --> 00:40:32,472 You never know, do you? 778 00:40:33,932 --> 00:40:38,019 I must be the worst mother in the entire world. 779 00:40:38,311 --> 00:40:39,813 No, it's just that, well, 780 00:40:40,105 --> 00:40:41,833 things are different from when you were young, 781 00:40:41,857 --> 00:40:45,485 but that doesn't mean you're bad. 782 00:40:45,777 --> 00:40:48,405 You really want to go to that party, don't you? 783 00:40:48,697 --> 00:40:49,990 I'll die if I miss it, Mom. 784 00:40:50,282 --> 00:40:52,159 It's the nonstop ultimate. 785 00:40:52,451 --> 00:40:56,496 Well, as long as there are no boys present, 786 00:40:56,788 --> 00:41:00,709 I guess it's as you teens would say, okel-dokel. 787 00:41:01,001 --> 00:41:03,378 Oh, Mother. 788 00:41:03,670 --> 00:41:10,177 I feel the spirit's hot breath on my neck. 789 00:41:10,469 --> 00:41:15,974 Oh, their lips on mine, so sweet. 790 00:41:16,266 --> 00:41:23,023 Oh, a touch, fingers lightly caressing my breast. 791 00:41:23,315 --> 00:41:29,404 Oh, a tongue, a tongue licking my... 792 00:41:29,696 --> 00:41:31,948 Good gravy, I forgot the chant. 793 00:41:32,240 --> 00:41:34,117 That's supposed to come first. 794 00:41:35,619 --> 00:41:37,537 We were doing just swell. 795 00:41:37,829 --> 00:41:38,246 Oh. 796 00:41:38,538 --> 00:41:40,790 Okay, why don't we just take a break, 797 00:41:41,082 --> 00:41:42,918 and I'll whip up the house special, 798 00:41:43,210 --> 00:41:48,256 my world-famous jalapeño pancakes with peach sauce, hmm? 799 00:41:49,799 --> 00:41:51,510 Oh, look at me. 800 00:41:51,801 --> 00:41:53,637 I am hopeless. 801 00:41:53,929 --> 00:41:54,971 Oh, I'll get that. 802 00:41:55,263 --> 00:41:58,600 Oh, stop. Um... 803 00:41:58,892 --> 00:41:59,476 I think it's best 804 00:41:59,768 --> 00:42:05,190 if we preserve the fantasy of my on-screen image. 805 00:42:05,482 --> 00:42:07,776 Oh. 806 00:42:08,068 --> 00:42:08,443 Wait. 807 00:42:08,735 --> 00:42:12,405 Meet me in the guest bathroom in ten minutes. 808 00:42:13,657 --> 00:42:14,657 Dig this. 809 00:42:14,908 --> 00:42:17,786 Must be Bettina's room. 810 00:42:19,913 --> 00:42:22,040 It's just me, Starcat. 811 00:42:22,332 --> 00:42:23,332 Sorry. 812 00:42:23,416 --> 00:42:24,084 I'm sure Larry Elkins 813 00:42:24,376 --> 00:42:27,295 is residing in a well-guarded booby hatch somewhere. 814 00:42:27,587 --> 00:42:30,298 Unless the state board of evaluation found his treatment 815 00:42:30,590 --> 00:42:32,384 and rehabilitation to be complete. 816 00:42:32,676 --> 00:42:33,676 Then he can get sprung. 817 00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:36,513 As an expert, maybe you can help me. 818 00:42:36,805 --> 00:42:39,015 See, I have this girlfriend. 819 00:42:39,307 --> 00:42:41,393 I'm kind of worried about her. 820 00:42:41,685 --> 00:42:43,979 She has these blackouts. 821 00:42:44,271 --> 00:42:45,271 What sort of blackouts? 822 00:42:45,313 --> 00:42:47,482 Well, she says when she comes to, 823 00:42:47,774 --> 00:42:49,774 she doesn't really remember anything that happened, 824 00:42:49,818 --> 00:42:52,737 but she thinks when she's out, she's really out. 825 00:42:53,029 --> 00:42:56,741 I mean, like, out of her bird. 826 00:42:57,033 --> 00:42:58,618 Well, what do you think? 827 00:42:58,910 --> 00:43:01,037 It's not professional to give an instant diagnosis, 828 00:43:01,329 --> 00:43:02,729 but I'd say she's probably suffering 829 00:43:02,872 --> 00:43:07,544 from morbidly psychotic episodes of schizophrenia. 830 00:43:07,836 --> 00:43:09,671 I didn't know Berdine was so unstable. 831 00:43:09,963 --> 00:43:12,882 Berdine? Who said anything about Berdine? 832 00:43:13,174 --> 00:43:14,926 Well, you don't have any other friends. 833 00:43:15,218 --> 00:43:16,344 Twisted loner that I am? 834 00:43:16,636 --> 00:43:21,933 Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. 835 00:43:22,225 --> 00:43:24,978 How's about a truce? 836 00:43:25,270 --> 00:43:26,771 Okay, a truce, 837 00:43:27,063 --> 00:43:29,357 and I take it back that you're perfect. 838 00:43:29,649 --> 00:43:30,817 You're deeply flawed. 839 00:43:31,109 --> 00:43:32,211 In fact, from a certain angle, 840 00:43:32,235 --> 00:43:34,946 I can even see a small bump on your nose. 841 00:43:35,238 --> 00:43:37,490 From one mess to another? 842 00:43:40,619 --> 00:43:42,287 I think the reason I pick on you so much 843 00:43:42,579 --> 00:43:44,456 is because you're so darn perky. 844 00:43:44,748 --> 00:43:45,788 You can't help it. I mean, 845 00:43:45,874 --> 00:43:51,004 not all of us can be attuned to the darker side of life. 846 00:43:55,967 --> 00:43:59,262 Fuck you. 847 00:43:59,554 --> 00:44:00,554 Starcat? 848 00:44:00,722 --> 00:44:02,140 I'm here. 849 00:44:02,432 --> 00:44:06,186 Remember me, Marvel Ann? 850 00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:20,992 Is... is that the lady of my dreams? 851 00:44:24,329 --> 00:44:26,956 Mm, tingles. 852 00:44:37,008 --> 00:44:39,511 Imagine Bettina wearing this stuff. 853 00:44:39,803 --> 00:44:42,138 Yeah, and naked underneath. 854 00:44:42,430 --> 00:44:43,431 Ooh, ooh, 855 00:44:43,723 --> 00:44:48,395 I could just see her pretty titties bouncing under this one. 856 00:44:48,687 --> 00:44:50,271 Let me see. 857 00:44:50,563 --> 00:44:54,734 Wow, which is the top? 858 00:44:55,026 --> 00:44:56,277 Oh. 859 00:45:00,281 --> 00:45:02,575 Here, try this on. 860 00:45:02,867 --> 00:45:05,370 It looks your size. 861 00:45:09,541 --> 00:45:13,586 I don't know, I think it makes my neck look thick. 862 00:45:13,878 --> 00:45:17,173 - Oh. - Oh, oh, we was just, 863 00:45:17,465 --> 00:45:19,110 you know, looking for stuff for the exorcism. 864 00:45:19,134 --> 00:45:20,802 Yeah, we didn't hurt anything, honest. 865 00:45:21,094 --> 00:45:23,012 Oh, of course you didn't. 866 00:45:23,304 --> 00:45:24,556 Oh, those white feathers, 867 00:45:24,848 --> 00:45:27,684 they just look great against your tan. 868 00:45:27,976 --> 00:45:31,896 But, you know, I don't think this is your color at all. 869 00:45:32,188 --> 00:45:33,648 Try on my black peignoir. 870 00:45:33,940 --> 00:45:35,220 You know, it's a Paris original. 871 00:45:35,275 --> 00:45:37,318 Oh, I, you know, don't really want to... 872 00:45:37,610 --> 00:45:40,572 Oh, there's nothing wrong with dressing up. 873 00:45:40,864 --> 00:45:43,199 That's why I'm an actress. 874 00:45:43,491 --> 00:45:45,744 Some afternoon you should come over, 875 00:45:46,035 --> 00:45:47,235 and we can play beauty parlor. 876 00:45:47,328 --> 00:45:49,223 Sure, yeah, but, you know, we got to get downstairs. 877 00:45:49,247 --> 00:45:51,708 You know, the guys, they're gonna be waiting for us, so... 878 00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,335 Oh, yeah, yeah, the guys. 879 00:45:54,627 --> 00:45:58,214 But you haven't even seen my shoes. 880 00:46:00,258 --> 00:46:03,970 Berdine, have I been acting strange lately? 881 00:46:04,262 --> 00:46:07,307 Other than being an obnoxious snob? 882 00:46:07,599 --> 00:46:08,725 That bad, huh? 883 00:46:09,017 --> 00:46:09,476 It's okay. 884 00:46:09,768 --> 00:46:11,478 You're part of the cool crowd now. 885 00:46:11,770 --> 00:46:14,939 Being best friends and soul mates is sort of kid stuff. 886 00:46:15,231 --> 00:46:16,511 As Jean-Paul Sartre would say... 887 00:46:16,608 --> 00:46:19,068 No, what I meant was do you think I'm suffering 888 00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:23,156 from morbidly psychotic episodes of schizophrenia? 889 00:46:23,448 --> 00:46:25,033 Morbidly schizophrenic what? 890 00:46:25,325 --> 00:46:27,410 Where'd you get that crazy idea? 891 00:46:27,702 --> 00:46:28,411 It's like just now. 892 00:46:28,703 --> 00:46:33,041 I was talking to Starcat, and now I'm out here with you. 893 00:46:33,333 --> 00:46:35,335 Does this happen a lot? 894 00:46:35,627 --> 00:46:36,002 Well... 895 00:46:36,294 --> 00:46:41,466 last time it happened was the night Junior was killed. 896 00:46:43,551 --> 00:46:44,551 Kanaka, you rat fink. 897 00:46:44,761 --> 00:46:47,138 Don't give me no sass. It was a gas. 898 00:46:50,391 --> 00:46:52,769 Is he dead? 899 00:46:53,061 --> 00:46:56,314 That's dead. 900 00:46:56,606 --> 00:46:59,818 - T.J.! - Nobody touch a thing. 901 00:47:02,946 --> 00:47:09,786 Cookie, is there something stuffed in his mouth? 902 00:47:10,078 --> 00:47:12,580 Oh, my God. 903 00:47:12,872 --> 00:47:14,392 Somebody's bumping off all our friends. 904 00:47:14,499 --> 00:47:15,859 I don't want to die. I'm panicking. 905 00:47:15,959 --> 00:47:17,478 - It's giving me agita. - I'm experiencing 906 00:47:17,502 --> 00:47:21,005 severe feelings of loss and a profound sense of anxiety. 907 00:47:21,297 --> 00:47:22,358 You guys are the absolute limit. 908 00:47:22,382 --> 00:47:24,443 I suppose this is your answer to school overcrowding, 909 00:47:24,467 --> 00:47:26,177 letting us get butchered one by one? 910 00:47:26,469 --> 00:47:28,555 We were in the Lanai when we heard Bettina. 911 00:47:28,847 --> 00:47:31,224 I'd know that scream anywhere, 912 00:47:31,516 --> 00:47:32,600 tender and vulnerable, 913 00:47:32,892 --> 00:47:35,895 yet brimming with inner strength. 914 00:47:38,857 --> 00:47:39,440 Miss Barnes, 915 00:47:39,732 --> 00:47:42,652 I hope my colleagues weren't too rough on you. 916 00:47:42,944 --> 00:47:45,697 No, I'm all right. 917 00:47:45,989 --> 00:47:50,034 This trauma can only make me a greater artist. 918 00:47:50,326 --> 00:47:51,911 You see, to excel at drama, 919 00:47:52,203 --> 00:47:58,710 one must experience tragedy and then be able to transform 920 00:47:59,002 --> 00:48:02,380 that into the raw material of art. 921 00:48:02,672 --> 00:48:03,672 Otherwise... 922 00:48:07,969 --> 00:48:09,762 Keep it going, partner. 923 00:48:10,054 --> 00:48:12,015 Keep up the speed. 924 00:48:12,307 --> 00:48:14,142 Harder. 925 00:48:14,434 --> 00:48:15,434 Pull back. 926 00:48:15,685 --> 00:48:17,103 Now run the light. 927 00:48:17,395 --> 00:48:20,064 - Yaaah! - Ah! 928 00:48:20,356 --> 00:48:23,026 What's wrong? 929 00:48:23,318 --> 00:48:25,653 Taking a breather. 930 00:48:26,905 --> 00:48:28,239 I talked to Sergeant Macklehenny. 931 00:48:28,531 --> 00:48:30,050 He said we could have the wedding in his backyard, 932 00:48:30,074 --> 00:48:32,785 and Steve Casey's wife said she'd do the flowers. 933 00:48:33,077 --> 00:48:33,703 You've been busy. 934 00:48:33,995 --> 00:48:35,872 Well, if we want a June wedding... 935 00:48:36,164 --> 00:48:37,874 Isn't that a little soon? 936 00:48:38,166 --> 00:48:40,501 What, having second thoughts? 937 00:48:40,793 --> 00:48:41,793 It's just that, well, 938 00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:44,839 I'm taking the Detective's exam next month. 939 00:48:45,131 --> 00:48:47,800 Shouldn't you be thinking about having babies? 940 00:48:48,092 --> 00:48:50,762 A baby? You've got to be kidding. 941 00:48:51,054 --> 00:48:52,430 My career's just building. 942 00:48:52,722 --> 00:48:56,768 I'm sure you can understand that. 943 00:48:57,060 --> 00:49:01,481 I guess I just like being a cop on the beat. 944 00:49:01,773 --> 00:49:02,941 Well, I want more. 945 00:49:03,232 --> 00:49:04,392 I'm gonna show those bastards 946 00:49:04,651 --> 00:49:07,695 who said a woman couldn't be a detective. 947 00:49:07,987 --> 00:49:09,948 And where do I fit in? 948 00:49:10,239 --> 00:49:12,241 Honey, you fit just fine. 949 00:49:12,533 --> 00:49:12,951 Stop it! 950 00:49:13,242 --> 00:49:15,662 - I'm not your whore. - Don't talk that way. 951 00:49:15,954 --> 00:49:18,039 This isn't what I want. 952 00:49:18,331 --> 00:49:19,457 None of it! 953 00:49:19,874 --> 00:49:20,416 Come back. 954 00:49:20,792 --> 00:49:23,002 Darling, all the success in the world means nothing 955 00:49:23,294 --> 00:49:26,297 unless you're beside me. 956 00:49:26,589 --> 00:49:27,840 I need you! 957 00:49:30,927 --> 00:49:33,054 Monica, you okay? 958 00:49:33,346 --> 00:49:34,430 Of course I am. 959 00:49:34,722 --> 00:49:37,433 Strange that the victim had only one testicle 960 00:49:37,725 --> 00:49:38,893 stuffed in his mouth. 961 00:49:39,185 --> 00:49:40,625 I believe they usually come in pairs. 962 00:49:40,770 --> 00:49:43,189 Well, that's 'cause he only had one. 963 00:49:43,481 --> 00:49:43,815 I checked. 964 00:49:44,107 --> 00:49:46,651 Plenty of meat, but only one potato. 965 00:49:46,943 --> 00:49:50,488 Cookie, the girl who was murdered at the drive-in, 966 00:49:50,780 --> 00:49:54,492 do you recall any distinguishing marks or scars? 967 00:49:54,784 --> 00:49:56,452 Yes, indeedy. 968 00:49:56,744 --> 00:49:57,870 Victim had a harelip. 969 00:49:58,162 --> 00:50:02,000 Precisely, a harelip, a common birth defect. 970 00:50:02,291 --> 00:50:04,168 The boy at the beach suffered from 971 00:50:04,460 --> 00:50:05,962 the heartbreak of psoriasis, 972 00:50:06,254 --> 00:50:09,507 and this young man had one nut. 973 00:50:09,799 --> 00:50:10,174 Cookie, 974 00:50:10,466 --> 00:50:16,764 someone out there has a problem with people who are different. 975 00:50:17,515 --> 00:50:18,515 Look at this dull blade, 976 00:50:18,599 --> 00:50:20,852 can't even slice through a sandwich meat. 977 00:50:21,144 --> 00:50:22,979 If there's one thing I can't stand, 978 00:50:23,271 --> 00:50:24,897 it's imperfection. 979 00:50:25,189 --> 00:50:28,276 No room in the world for it. 980 00:50:28,818 --> 00:50:30,903 It's just not the same without T.J. and Junior. 981 00:50:31,195 --> 00:50:34,282 Yeah, I can still picture old T.J. hanging ten 982 00:50:34,574 --> 00:50:36,242 off the nose of his Hobie. 983 00:50:36,534 --> 00:50:39,412 And all that time he only had one nut. 984 00:50:39,704 --> 00:50:43,041 You think you know a person. 985 00:50:43,332 --> 00:50:44,709 Yeah. 986 00:50:45,251 --> 00:50:48,755 Hey, Kanaka, think we should cancel the luau? 987 00:50:49,047 --> 00:50:50,840 You know, out of respect for the dead? 988 00:50:51,132 --> 00:50:51,507 No way, man. 989 00:50:51,799 --> 00:50:53,239 We got to commune under the full moon 990 00:50:53,384 --> 00:50:55,011 to celebrate our main man, King Neptune. 991 00:50:55,303 --> 00:50:58,765 Yeah, I mean, they'd want us to have a good time. 992 00:50:59,057 --> 00:51:02,060 Us? She's saying us again. 993 00:51:02,351 --> 00:51:03,370 Maybe the kid should come. 994 00:51:03,394 --> 00:51:06,105 Might be a good mix, like adding Coke to rum. 995 00:51:06,397 --> 00:51:08,775 Oh, golly, my first luau. 996 00:51:09,067 --> 00:51:11,569 I've never been to an orgy before. 997 00:51:11,861 --> 00:51:12,945 What do I wear? 998 00:51:35,927 --> 00:51:37,845 I got to split. I'm late to meet Marvel Ann. 999 00:51:38,137 --> 00:51:39,531 Chicklet, old buddy, can I borrow a few bucks 1000 00:51:39,555 --> 00:51:43,101 to buy something sweet to keep my girl cuddly? 1001 00:51:43,392 --> 00:51:45,645 Sure. 1002 00:51:45,937 --> 00:51:48,022 Frankly, Dr. Edwards, in the past 1003 00:51:48,314 --> 00:51:50,074 I've had little use for you head shrinkers... 1004 00:51:50,233 --> 00:51:52,233 Inkblot tests, I hate my mother, and all that crap. 1005 00:51:52,485 --> 00:51:55,988 But with this case I find myself at a loss. 1006 00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:59,117 I understand you specialize in the treatment 1007 00:51:59,408 --> 00:52:00,493 of homicidal maniacs. 1008 00:52:00,785 --> 00:52:02,161 Yes, but I've never been involved 1009 00:52:02,453 --> 00:52:04,205 in a criminal investigation. 1010 00:52:04,497 --> 00:52:04,956 Ha. Don't worry, 1011 00:52:05,248 --> 00:52:07,333 you can leave the cops and robbers stuff to me. 1012 00:52:07,625 --> 00:52:08,960 What I need from you is this... 1013 00:52:09,252 --> 00:52:11,420 What kind of sicko am I looking for? 1014 00:52:11,712 --> 00:52:15,925 The perpetrator preys upon vulnerable unfortunates 1015 00:52:16,217 --> 00:52:18,719 the killer deems somehow flawed. 1016 00:52:19,011 --> 00:52:19,637 Give me a profile. 1017 00:52:19,929 --> 00:52:22,849 Let's say the assailant is highly sophisticated 1018 00:52:23,141 --> 00:52:26,936 yet childlike, vulnerable but canny, 1019 00:52:27,228 --> 00:52:32,608 capable of both tenderness and extreme brutality. 1020 00:52:32,900 --> 00:52:35,611 The murderer is highly intelligent 1021 00:52:35,903 --> 00:52:39,365 yet strangely out of touch with reality, 1022 00:52:39,657 --> 00:52:43,035 sexual, yet surprisingly innocent. 1023 00:52:43,327 --> 00:52:46,747 This individual has an insatiable craving 1024 00:52:47,039 --> 00:52:51,294 for normalcy which will make your investigation 1025 00:52:51,586 --> 00:52:53,045 - all the more difficult. - How so? 1026 00:52:53,337 --> 00:52:56,716 Because the killer will do everything in his power 1027 00:52:57,008 --> 00:52:58,176 to pass as normal. 1028 00:52:58,467 --> 00:53:02,221 He or she could be anyone. 1029 00:53:02,513 --> 00:53:03,514 What you doing? 1030 00:53:03,806 --> 00:53:07,143 For the luau, pagan god of sex. 1031 00:53:07,435 --> 00:53:11,355 Oh, funny coincidence... that's what I need some advice about. 1032 00:53:11,647 --> 00:53:16,903 See, there's this girl I know who's friends with this guy. 1033 00:53:17,195 --> 00:53:20,323 She wants to be more than just friends. 1034 00:53:20,615 --> 00:53:27,205 What I need to know is if she puts out, will he respect her? 1035 00:53:27,496 --> 00:53:30,541 Kid, lesson number one, don't be sleazy. 1036 00:53:30,833 --> 00:53:33,502 Nobody wants what they can get too easy. 1037 00:53:33,794 --> 00:53:35,922 For instance, I got this lady friend. 1038 00:53:36,214 --> 00:53:37,882 I haven't seen her in a while. 1039 00:53:38,174 --> 00:53:40,593 And that makes you really miss her, huh? 1040 00:53:40,885 --> 00:53:41,302 Uh-huh. 1041 00:53:41,594 --> 00:53:43,262 Don't even know how to reach her. 1042 00:53:43,554 --> 00:53:45,389 Her name's Anne Bowman. 1043 00:53:45,681 --> 00:53:46,057 Ring a bell? 1044 00:53:46,349 --> 00:53:51,020 Nope. Does she live around here? 1045 00:53:51,312 --> 00:53:52,312 Real close. 1046 00:53:52,480 --> 00:53:57,401 It's still a mystery to me just what turns her on. 1047 00:53:57,693 --> 00:53:59,278 Is something wrong with your back? 1048 00:53:59,570 --> 00:54:01,614 Oh, man, I must be out of my gourd. 1049 00:54:01,906 --> 00:54:04,659 Kid, before I get myself in a jam, you better scram. 1050 00:54:04,951 --> 00:54:06,786 Yeah, my mom would be frosted 1051 00:54:07,078 --> 00:54:09,747 if she knew I was alone with a man in his house. 1052 00:54:10,039 --> 00:54:11,039 I mean, I don't know why. 1053 00:54:11,082 --> 00:54:13,417 It's not like you find me even remotely sexy. 1054 00:54:13,709 --> 00:54:15,795 I mean, you probably... 1055 00:54:20,341 --> 00:54:21,341 Anne? Are you back? 1056 00:54:21,425 --> 00:54:23,302 With a vengeance. God, I didn't think 1057 00:54:23,594 --> 00:54:26,055 the little twerp would ever let me in. 1058 00:54:26,347 --> 00:54:27,556 It's the circles, isn't it? 1059 00:54:27,848 --> 00:54:29,100 You're a regular Einstein. 1060 00:54:29,392 --> 00:54:33,062 Mistress Anne, I've been a bad boy. 1061 00:54:33,354 --> 00:54:35,690 And bad boys get spanked. 1062 00:54:35,982 --> 00:54:37,775 Bad boys get tortured. 1063 00:54:38,067 --> 00:54:39,694 Cowabunga! 1064 00:54:39,986 --> 00:54:41,862 Boy, what you doing dressed up like a ho? 1065 00:54:42,154 --> 00:54:43,739 - You out your mind? - Anne? 1066 00:54:44,031 --> 00:54:45,217 Anne? Who you be calling Anne? 1067 00:54:45,241 --> 00:54:48,452 My name is Tylene, Tylene Carmichael Carmel. 1068 00:54:48,744 --> 00:54:50,104 I work the checkout at the Safeway. 1069 00:54:50,329 --> 00:54:52,331 Look, it's going on 4:30, right, 1070 00:54:52,623 --> 00:54:53,749 and my supervisor, Miss... 1071 00:54:54,041 --> 00:54:54,709 Bring Anne back! 1072 00:54:55,001 --> 00:54:56,081 Look what I've got for you! 1073 00:54:56,168 --> 00:54:57,187 Back up! I got me a blade. 1074 00:54:57,211 --> 00:54:58,379 I'll cut you. I will cut you. 1075 00:54:58,671 --> 00:54:59,791 Forget the paddle, bad idea. 1076 00:54:59,922 --> 00:55:00,548 Don't mess with me, boy. 1077 00:55:00,840 --> 00:55:03,384 Don't even try to escape my power. 1078 00:55:03,676 --> 00:55:06,012 The world has conspired to suppress me, 1079 00:55:06,304 --> 00:55:09,974 but I've risen like a phoenix to claim my birthright. 1080 00:55:10,266 --> 00:55:15,604 Anne Bowman, dominatrix, empress of the planet Earth. 1081 00:55:15,896 --> 00:55:16,896 Catchy, isn't it? 1082 00:55:17,148 --> 00:55:20,568 You know, I think I've gotten in over my head. 1083 00:55:20,860 --> 00:55:22,987 Oh, Miss B, Auggie's does deliver. 1084 00:55:23,279 --> 00:55:26,866 Berdine, how can I express universal emotions 1085 00:55:27,158 --> 00:55:30,911 if I don't observe how real people live? 1086 00:55:31,329 --> 00:55:35,958 Oh, how terribly human. 1087 00:55:39,545 --> 00:55:43,549 Now, we mustn't draw attention to ourselves. 1088 00:55:43,841 --> 00:55:46,761 We're here to observe. 1089 00:55:47,636 --> 00:55:50,264 Look over there, a brave soul. 1090 00:55:50,556 --> 00:55:53,517 Yeah, she's pretty brave, all right. 1091 00:55:53,809 --> 00:55:56,270 - Hello, Berdine. - Hello, Rhonda. 1092 00:55:56,562 --> 00:55:57,562 Not alone for a change. 1093 00:55:57,772 --> 00:55:59,690 You gonna introduce me to your new friends? 1094 00:55:59,982 --> 00:56:02,485 This is Yo Yo and Provoloney. 1095 00:56:02,777 --> 00:56:04,070 Hmm, intellectual types. 1096 00:56:04,362 --> 00:56:05,571 And this is my cousin, 1097 00:56:05,863 --> 00:56:08,074 Frieda Diefendorfer from Altoona. 1098 00:56:08,366 --> 00:56:09,909 You're not from Altoona. 1099 00:56:10,201 --> 00:56:11,535 You're Bettina Barnes. 1100 00:56:11,827 --> 00:56:15,998 Well, you're very sweet and very pretty. 1101 00:56:16,290 --> 00:56:17,370 So that is your real voice. 1102 00:56:17,625 --> 00:56:20,044 I thought maybe they messed with it to make it sound funny. 1103 00:56:20,336 --> 00:56:22,880 Oh, well, would you care to join us? 1104 00:56:23,172 --> 00:56:24,412 No, I've got to get going home. 1105 00:56:24,632 --> 00:56:26,384 I've got friends coming for dinner. 1106 00:56:26,675 --> 00:56:28,219 Berdine, you're not invited. 1107 00:56:28,511 --> 00:56:30,513 Miss Barnes, I'm a real fan. 1108 00:56:30,805 --> 00:56:31,925 You know, for crummy movies, 1109 00:56:32,098 --> 00:56:33,498 the camera work must be pretty good. 1110 00:56:33,599 --> 00:56:36,644 Can't even see those itty-bitty lines. 1111 00:56:36,936 --> 00:56:39,188 Anyway, it's been a thrill. 1112 00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:40,606 Kisses. 1113 00:56:41,857 --> 00:56:45,069 That wheelchair needs an ejector seat. 1114 00:56:45,361 --> 00:56:46,821 So what can I do you for? 1115 00:56:47,113 --> 00:56:49,907 I think we need a few more minutes. 1116 00:56:50,199 --> 00:56:53,828 Hey, hon, has anyone ever told you you're a ringer 1117 00:56:54,120 --> 00:56:57,581 for that gal that makes all those stinky horror movies? 1118 00:56:59,625 --> 00:57:00,960 I need air. 1119 00:57:01,252 --> 00:57:03,170 Oxygen, I'm suffocating. 1120 00:57:03,462 --> 00:57:04,462 I have to go outside. 1121 00:57:04,588 --> 00:57:06,966 - I'll go with you. - No. 1122 00:57:07,258 --> 00:57:07,633 I must be alone. 1123 00:57:07,925 --> 00:57:11,011 Don't worry, just order me a Reuben, 1124 00:57:11,303 --> 00:57:13,431 fries, and a cherry Coke. 1125 00:57:19,145 --> 00:57:22,523 What are you looking at, asshole? 1126 00:57:24,900 --> 00:57:25,609 What are you doing? 1127 00:57:25,901 --> 00:57:29,113 I don't... I don't need your stinking help, okay? 1128 00:57:29,405 --> 00:57:32,491 Where the hell are you taking me? 1129 00:57:34,869 --> 00:57:37,705 There's your tuna melt 1130 00:57:37,997 --> 00:57:40,499 and your BLT, 1131 00:57:40,791 --> 00:57:42,585 and you got the prunes. 1132 00:57:42,877 --> 00:57:44,420 Those oughta loosen you up. 1133 00:57:44,712 --> 00:57:46,172 Ain't your friend coming back? 1134 00:57:46,464 --> 00:57:48,340 Oh, I hope so. 1135 00:57:48,632 --> 00:57:50,551 Oh, my lord. 1136 00:57:50,843 --> 00:57:52,678 Berdine, darling. 1137 00:57:52,970 --> 00:57:54,972 - It's been ages. - Chicklet? 1138 00:57:55,264 --> 00:57:57,349 Where'd you find that get-up? 1139 00:57:57,641 --> 00:57:58,767 Oh, this? 1140 00:57:59,059 --> 00:58:00,978 A gift from an admirer. 1141 00:58:01,270 --> 00:58:02,980 I am panting for a cocktail. 1142 00:58:03,272 --> 00:58:05,191 A highball, baby, hold the fruit. 1143 00:58:05,483 --> 00:58:08,527 You're not even old enough to be smoking. 1144 00:58:08,819 --> 00:58:12,490 Peasant, be gone. You're annoying me. 1145 00:58:12,781 --> 00:58:14,200 You're on a wild groove. 1146 00:58:14,492 --> 00:58:17,620 Love your eye makeup, very Cleopatra. 1147 00:58:17,912 --> 00:58:22,666 Well, I... I- 1148 00:58:22,958 --> 00:58:25,169 what's this all over my fingers? 1149 00:58:26,212 --> 00:58:28,005 - What's this? - I think it's fabulous. 1150 00:58:28,297 --> 00:58:32,718 - Are you okay? - Berdine, it happened again. 1151 00:58:33,010 --> 00:58:33,594 What happened? 1152 00:58:33,886 --> 00:58:36,514 I was in Kanaka's shack. 1153 00:58:36,805 --> 00:58:38,933 Oh, God, what's wrong with me? 1154 00:58:39,225 --> 00:58:41,435 Nothing is wrong with you. 1155 00:58:41,727 --> 00:58:43,270 She's just putting you guys on. 1156 00:58:43,562 --> 00:58:47,733 Ever since we were kids she's been doing funny voices. 1157 00:58:50,069 --> 00:58:51,779 Both: Oh. 1158 00:58:55,199 --> 00:58:57,576 Clear a path, police. 1159 00:58:57,868 --> 00:59:01,622 All of yas, evaporate. 1160 00:59:02,122 --> 00:59:06,335 The crippled girl. Fits the pattern. 1161 00:59:06,627 --> 00:59:12,049 Miss Barnes, why am I feeling a sense of déjà vu? 1162 00:59:12,341 --> 00:59:15,386 I have a breath mint in my purse, sweetie. 1163 00:59:15,678 --> 00:59:16,887 Will that help? 1164 00:59:17,179 --> 00:59:18,180 A strange coincidence 1165 00:59:18,472 --> 00:59:20,766 that all of your recent personal appearances 1166 00:59:21,058 --> 00:59:22,977 have been at crime scenes. 1167 00:59:23,269 --> 00:59:26,730 Say, is that a crack? 1168 00:59:28,065 --> 00:59:31,610 Fellas, do, please, sit down. 1169 00:59:33,237 --> 00:59:35,781 I want to talk to you about the murders 1170 00:59:36,073 --> 00:59:37,741 that have been taking place. 1171 00:59:38,033 --> 00:59:39,952 I'm concerned that one of you could be 1172 00:59:40,244 --> 00:59:43,289 - the killer's next target. - Why us? 1173 00:59:43,581 --> 00:59:45,165 Well, so far the killer's gone after 1174 00:59:45,457 --> 00:59:47,918 a girl with a harelip, a young lady in a wheelchair, 1175 00:59:48,210 --> 00:59:51,797 a boy with psoriasis, and another with one testicle. 1176 00:59:52,089 --> 00:59:53,149 Is there anything about you 1177 00:59:53,173 --> 00:59:58,053 that the killer could possibly perceive as freakish? 1178 00:59:58,345 --> 00:59:59,013 Come now, fess up. 1179 00:59:59,305 --> 01:00:02,057 Everyone has something they'd rather hide. 1180 01:00:02,349 --> 01:00:04,893 Since he won't say anything, I guess I'll tell you. 1181 01:00:05,185 --> 01:00:06,729 Provoloney's so constipated he's in 1182 01:00:07,021 --> 01:00:10,232 Ripley's Believe It or Not for going 67 days 1183 01:00:10,524 --> 01:00:12,067 without taking a dump. 1184 01:00:12,359 --> 01:00:15,029 You want to see a freak? Starcat, show her your big toe. 1185 01:00:15,321 --> 01:00:17,007 The nail fell off. It makes you want to puke. 1186 01:00:17,031 --> 01:00:19,241 You guys think this is real funny. 1187 01:00:19,533 --> 01:00:21,243 Wheelchairs and harelips and stuff, 1188 01:00:21,535 --> 01:00:22,846 kind of makes you want to crack up. 1189 01:00:22,870 --> 01:00:24,121 Oh, you kids. 1190 01:00:24,413 --> 01:00:26,332 I just hope someday decent people no longer 1191 01:00:26,624 --> 01:00:29,627 find this sort of sick humor a source of comedy. 1192 01:00:29,918 --> 01:00:33,130 Yo Yo, a penny for your thoughts. 1193 01:00:33,422 --> 01:00:34,632 There's nothing wrong with me. 1194 01:00:34,923 --> 01:00:36,508 This is for your own protection. 1195 01:00:36,800 --> 01:00:40,304 Do you feel different in any way? 1196 01:00:40,596 --> 01:00:42,556 I, uh... 1197 01:00:42,848 --> 01:00:43,349 Maybe a little. 1198 01:00:43,641 --> 01:00:46,810 What are you talking about? You're 100% normal. 1199 01:00:47,102 --> 01:00:48,187 I am, but... 1200 01:00:48,479 --> 01:00:52,107 sometimes I feel like there's something in me 1201 01:00:52,399 --> 01:00:53,859 that's kind of... 1202 01:00:54,151 --> 01:00:55,903 The way I feel towards... 1203 01:00:56,195 --> 01:00:58,656 I mean, Provoloney and me... 1204 01:00:58,947 --> 01:01:00,227 I can't believe this. Forget it. 1205 01:01:00,366 --> 01:01:02,409 You know, I hope the killer knocks us all off. 1206 01:01:02,701 --> 01:01:05,037 Provoloney! 1207 01:01:05,329 --> 01:01:07,164 What exactly did I sound like? 1208 01:01:07,456 --> 01:01:10,000 Like an old lady, like you were 30. 1209 01:01:10,292 --> 01:01:11,377 "Berdine, darling." 1210 01:01:11,669 --> 01:01:15,005 Oh, you won't tell anyone I'm a nut job, will you? 1211 01:01:15,297 --> 01:01:16,298 Oh, of course not. 1212 01:01:16,590 --> 01:01:20,594 Chicklet Forrest, you are my best friend. 1213 01:01:20,886 --> 01:01:22,262 I'd keep your secret forever. 1214 01:01:22,554 --> 01:01:25,599 - You'd do that for me? - I'd take a bullet. 1215 01:01:25,891 --> 01:01:27,643 It makes me feel like the way 1216 01:01:27,935 --> 01:01:32,856 things used to be when it was just the two of us. 1217 01:01:34,358 --> 01:01:35,358 Hello, girls. 1218 01:01:35,567 --> 01:01:37,152 Florence, may I ask of you a favor? 1219 01:01:37,444 --> 01:01:41,115 I wish to wear these trousers to the luau Saturday night, 1220 01:01:41,407 --> 01:01:41,990 but the button fell off. 1221 01:01:42,282 --> 01:01:43,909 I'm not good with the needles. 1222 01:01:44,201 --> 01:01:48,163 Each time I put my hand in the pants, I feel a prick. 1223 01:01:48,455 --> 01:01:49,832 Sure thing, Lars. 1224 01:01:50,124 --> 01:01:51,458 Thank you. 1225 01:01:53,711 --> 01:01:55,421 Oh, the luau. 1226 01:01:55,713 --> 01:01:57,798 I can't wait to hear all about it. 1227 01:01:58,090 --> 01:02:00,092 Oh, I'm not going. 1228 01:02:00,384 --> 01:02:01,051 But you've got to go. 1229 01:02:01,343 --> 01:02:04,054 You have been canvassing for that invitation all summer. 1230 01:02:04,346 --> 01:02:09,351 What if I blow a fuse and I short out the whole party? 1231 01:02:11,311 --> 01:02:13,230 What goes on when I black out? 1232 01:02:13,522 --> 01:02:16,024 Golly, could I be the nutter who's been butchering 1233 01:02:16,316 --> 01:02:17,316 all these people? 1234 01:02:17,568 --> 01:02:19,319 I'll never get into a good school. 1235 01:02:19,611 --> 01:02:21,530 You've got to finish college. 1236 01:02:21,822 --> 01:02:23,022 It's a terrible tragedy seeing 1237 01:02:23,240 --> 01:02:24,509 all of your wonderful moneymaking 1238 01:02:24,533 --> 01:02:26,869 - potential going to waste. - That's parent stuff. 1239 01:02:27,161 --> 01:02:30,748 Kanaka says I've got the potential to be a great surfer. 1240 01:02:32,249 --> 01:02:32,791 Where you going? 1241 01:02:33,083 --> 01:02:36,170 I am mapping out my future, and you're not in it. 1242 01:02:36,462 --> 01:02:39,298 And here, you can take back your tacky old ten-cent pin. 1243 01:02:39,590 --> 01:02:42,176 - Let me help you with that. - Get your hands off of me! 1244 01:02:42,468 --> 01:02:43,628 No, but I think I can get it. 1245 01:02:46,847 --> 01:02:48,265 Marvel Ann, I am so sorry. 1246 01:02:48,557 --> 01:02:49,224 You did that on purpose. 1247 01:02:49,516 --> 01:02:53,645 You are a selfish, disgusting, perverted weirdo, 1248 01:02:53,937 --> 01:02:55,939 and my advice to you is to straighten up, 1249 01:02:56,231 --> 01:02:57,983 buckle down, and apply yourself 1250 01:02:58,275 --> 01:03:01,987 like any decent Presbyterian. 1251 01:03:12,456 --> 01:03:13,957 Girl trouble? 1252 01:03:14,249 --> 01:03:15,793 It's a lot more than that. 1253 01:03:16,084 --> 01:03:17,836 See, I'm an extremely complex person 1254 01:03:18,128 --> 01:03:20,547 with deep-rooted neuroses and anxieties. 1255 01:03:20,839 --> 01:03:23,175 Why am I telling you this? You're just a kid. 1256 01:03:23,467 --> 01:03:25,260 I'm not just a kid. 1257 01:03:25,552 --> 01:03:27,679 I'm... how did Kanaka put it? 1258 01:03:27,971 --> 01:03:29,223 A luscious voluptuary. 1259 01:03:29,515 --> 01:03:30,515 He never said that, liar. 1260 01:03:30,641 --> 01:03:32,476 He taught me how to surf, didn't he? 1261 01:03:32,768 --> 01:03:34,186 And he always wants to see me alone. 1262 01:03:34,478 --> 01:03:36,247 As a matter of fact, I'm headed over to his shack 1263 01:03:36,271 --> 01:03:38,982 later today for an extremely intimate tete-a-tete. 1264 01:03:39,274 --> 01:03:40,754 You're just trying to make me jealous. 1265 01:03:40,901 --> 01:03:42,621 Ha. If we were at war with the Soviet Union, 1266 01:03:42,694 --> 01:03:45,113 I wouldn't even let you into my bomb shelter. 1267 01:03:45,405 --> 01:03:46,406 Hey, hold on. 1268 01:03:46,698 --> 01:03:48,992 Didn't we call a truce? 1269 01:03:50,410 --> 01:03:55,541 You know, you could make a tasty morsel to some wolf. 1270 01:03:58,126 --> 01:04:00,838 Starcat... 1271 01:04:01,129 --> 01:04:03,340 what do you do with Marvel Ann? 1272 01:04:03,632 --> 01:04:05,634 I mean when you're alone. 1273 01:04:06,677 --> 01:04:07,862 It's kind of embarrassing, Chicklet. 1274 01:04:07,886 --> 01:04:12,057 Tell me. I mean, I need to learn about this stuff. 1275 01:04:14,768 --> 01:04:18,230 Well, she nestles real close to me. 1276 01:04:19,481 --> 01:04:21,275 Kind of like this? 1277 01:04:21,567 --> 01:04:24,111 Yeah, sort of like that. 1278 01:04:24,403 --> 01:04:26,530 And I hold her in my arms. 1279 01:04:26,822 --> 01:04:30,534 Kind of like this? Then what do you do? 1280 01:04:30,826 --> 01:04:33,787 I kiss the back of her neck. 1281 01:04:38,041 --> 01:04:39,626 You know, in the movies, 1282 01:04:39,918 --> 01:04:41,198 sometimes they lie down together, 1283 01:04:41,461 --> 01:04:43,922 like over by these rocks. 1284 01:04:45,257 --> 01:04:48,093 - I can't do this with you. - Oh, come on. 1285 01:04:48,385 --> 01:04:49,385 Pretend I'm Marvel Ann. 1286 01:04:49,428 --> 01:04:52,931 I mean, I don't want guys to think I'm frigid. 1287 01:04:56,852 --> 01:05:00,689 I stroke her arm, and she kisses my chest. 1288 01:05:03,400 --> 01:05:05,819 Then you take your clothes off, right? 1289 01:05:06,111 --> 01:05:06,820 Uh-huh. 1290 01:05:07,112 --> 01:05:09,698 I caress her smooth, satiny flesh. 1291 01:05:09,990 --> 01:05:11,325 It glows in the sunset. 1292 01:05:11,617 --> 01:05:15,704 She gently touches my muscles with her fingertips. 1293 01:05:16,038 --> 01:05:19,416 She sinks to her knees with a look of loving rapture. 1294 01:05:19,708 --> 01:05:22,127 My erect penis grazes her cheek. 1295 01:05:22,419 --> 01:05:25,297 She slides it in her mouth, cupping my balls with one hand 1296 01:05:25,589 --> 01:05:27,549 and playing with my anus with her finger. 1297 01:05:27,841 --> 01:05:28,841 Oh, God! 1298 01:05:28,884 --> 01:05:32,429 Chicklet! Chicklet, come back! 1299 01:05:39,353 --> 01:05:40,479 - Kanaka. - Hold on, Doctor. 1300 01:05:40,771 --> 01:05:41,873 I don't dig surprise visits. 1301 01:05:41,897 --> 01:05:43,082 I wanted to get here before Chicklet. 1302 01:05:43,106 --> 01:05:45,150 What's it to you? She's not your chick. 1303 01:05:45,442 --> 01:05:46,944 She shouldn't be yours either. 1304 01:05:47,235 --> 01:05:48,654 She's only a kid. 1305 01:05:48,946 --> 01:05:49,947 That's all you know. 1306 01:05:50,238 --> 01:05:51,424 If you've laid a finger on her... 1307 01:05:51,448 --> 01:05:53,492 Hey, cool out. I've never even touched her, 1308 01:05:53,784 --> 01:05:56,662 but let me tell you, she is off the wall. 1309 01:05:56,954 --> 01:05:59,539 There is more to that Chicklet than meets the old eyeball. 1310 01:05:59,831 --> 01:06:03,043 There's, like, two Chicklets in one. 1311 01:06:03,335 --> 01:06:04,044 What are you talking about? 1312 01:06:04,336 --> 01:06:08,632 I know it's odd, but she's like twins in one bod. 1313 01:06:09,341 --> 01:06:11,021 Are you saying she has a split personality? 1314 01:06:11,093 --> 01:06:13,136 Split, one's an angel, the other's a she-devil. 1315 01:06:13,428 --> 01:06:16,473 Calls herself Anne Bowman, and the screwy thing is 1316 01:06:16,765 --> 01:06:19,393 I can switch her off and on like a flashlight. 1317 01:06:19,685 --> 01:06:24,314 So do you think this Anne Bowman could be violent? 1318 01:06:24,606 --> 01:06:26,316 You tell me. 1319 01:06:27,693 --> 01:06:31,113 I hope you put some Bactine on that scratch. 1320 01:06:31,405 --> 01:06:34,491 Kanaka, I hate to say this, but I think our little Chicklet 1321 01:06:34,783 --> 01:06:37,953 may be the butcher of Malibu Beach. 1322 01:06:39,246 --> 01:06:39,871 Hi. 1323 01:06:40,163 --> 01:06:41,289 Chicklet, hi. Um... 1324 01:06:41,581 --> 01:06:43,125 we were just talking about you. 1325 01:06:43,417 --> 01:06:44,084 Checking up on me, huh? 1326 01:06:44,376 --> 01:06:46,753 Well, if it isn't the Malibu branch of the CIA. 1327 01:06:47,045 --> 01:06:49,506 Chicklet, I'm fixing up the place. 1328 01:06:49,798 --> 01:06:53,301 What do you think of my new curtains, lots of circles? 1329 01:06:53,593 --> 01:06:57,973 I know how you dig the crazy circles. 1330 01:06:58,265 --> 01:07:02,269 Starcat, this is the friend I wanted you to meet. 1331 01:07:02,769 --> 01:07:04,688 You lousy son of a... 1332 01:07:05,522 --> 01:07:07,482 Oh, listen, guys, really... 1333 01:07:07,774 --> 01:07:09,651 Aw, now you've done it, man. 1334 01:07:09,943 --> 01:07:10,360 I've done it? 1335 01:07:10,652 --> 01:07:13,864 - Oh, what happened? - Dear God! 1336 01:07:14,156 --> 01:07:14,740 Who the hell are you? 1337 01:07:15,032 --> 01:07:16,408 Mother, what are you doing here? 1338 01:07:16,700 --> 01:07:19,161 Your oboe recital was at 4:00. 1339 01:07:19,453 --> 01:07:20,037 Do you even care? 1340 01:07:20,328 --> 01:07:22,008 To track you down, I've had to consort with 1341 01:07:22,205 --> 01:07:23,749 the lowest form of beach scum 1342 01:07:24,041 --> 01:07:26,334 only to find you here like this. 1343 01:07:26,626 --> 01:07:28,920 Uh, Miss Forrest, you don't understand. 1344 01:07:29,212 --> 01:07:29,629 Indeed I do. 1345 01:07:29,921 --> 01:07:33,050 I believe this is what you young people call a gangbang. 1346 01:07:33,341 --> 01:07:35,177 Mother, Kanaka and Starcat are my friends. 1347 01:07:35,469 --> 01:07:36,863 Florence, dear, please wait in the car. 1348 01:07:36,887 --> 01:07:39,181 - But Mother... - End of discussion. 1349 01:07:39,473 --> 01:07:41,850 Just get in the car. 1350 01:07:43,477 --> 01:07:45,979 I'll have you know I fully intend to press charges. 1351 01:07:46,271 --> 01:07:49,232 You two had better find a good lawyer because I'm going 1352 01:07:49,524 --> 01:07:52,903 to tear your peckers off in that courtroom. 1353 01:07:56,323 --> 01:07:58,283 - Captain? - Yes, Cookie? 1354 01:07:58,575 --> 01:08:00,160 I just checked the plates on that Dodge. 1355 01:08:00,452 --> 01:08:04,081 It's registered under the name Thor Frestur, 1356 01:08:04,372 --> 01:08:04,998 Mar Vista, California. 1357 01:08:05,290 --> 01:08:09,419 Sounds phony, like an anagram. 1358 01:08:09,711 --> 01:08:10,837 Thor Frestur. 1359 01:08:11,129 --> 01:08:14,341 Put the R before the S, T in back of the E, 1360 01:08:14,633 --> 01:08:17,844 and you get Rose H. Toruf. 1361 01:08:18,136 --> 01:08:18,637 Hmm. Take the H, 1362 01:08:18,929 --> 01:08:23,141 move it back to the fourth spot, the O to the last syllable, 1363 01:08:23,433 --> 01:08:25,102 Seth R. Roufort. 1364 01:08:25,393 --> 01:08:26,393 No, that's not it. 1365 01:08:26,478 --> 01:08:28,939 Put the R back in the first slot, 1366 01:08:29,231 --> 01:08:31,149 the F at the top of the last name, 1367 01:08:31,441 --> 01:08:33,235 and what have you got? 1368 01:08:33,527 --> 01:08:36,488 Mrs. Ruth Forrest. 1369 01:08:45,330 --> 01:08:46,706 Good evening, Mrs. Forrest. 1370 01:08:46,998 --> 01:08:49,167 Lars, look at you. 1371 01:08:49,459 --> 01:08:50,499 I'm on my way to the luau. 1372 01:08:50,544 --> 01:08:54,422 I wanted to ask you, my car is still in the shop. 1373 01:08:54,714 --> 01:08:55,215 Might I... 1374 01:08:55,507 --> 01:08:58,385 Take the Dodge any time. I never use it. 1375 01:08:58,677 --> 01:09:00,178 Shall I wait and give Florence a ride? 1376 01:09:00,470 --> 01:09:03,223 I have forbidden her from attending. 1377 01:09:03,515 --> 01:09:04,182 I had no idea she'd been 1378 01:09:04,474 --> 01:09:06,935 palling around with that disgusting beach trash. 1379 01:09:07,227 --> 01:09:10,939 Garbage like that oughta be incinerated. 1380 01:09:11,231 --> 01:09:12,941 Oh, Lars, be a lamb? 1381 01:09:13,233 --> 01:09:14,734 Screw that light bulb in overhead. 1382 01:09:15,026 --> 01:09:17,696 It's been flickering all night and driving me batty. 1383 01:09:17,988 --> 01:09:19,531 But of course, Mrs. Forrest. 1384 01:09:19,823 --> 01:09:23,118 Don't you think it's time you called me Ruthie? 1385 01:09:23,410 --> 01:09:24,410 Oh. 1386 01:09:24,578 --> 01:09:26,204 Climb up on that stool. 1387 01:09:26,496 --> 01:09:27,664 It should hold your weight. 1388 01:09:27,956 --> 01:09:30,959 You keep yourself so trim. 1389 01:09:31,501 --> 01:09:34,129 I owe you a cocktail for this good turn. 1390 01:09:34,421 --> 01:09:36,423 Oh, I don't like the hard liquor. 1391 01:09:36,715 --> 01:09:38,967 One little nip ain't gonna kill ya. 1392 01:09:39,259 --> 01:09:42,888 Oh, damn it to hell. 1393 01:09:43,180 --> 01:09:46,933 Better soak this immediately. 1394 01:09:47,934 --> 01:09:52,689 Stool's a little wobbly. Wouldn't want you to fall. 1395 01:09:52,981 --> 01:09:56,067 I think perhaps you require the services of an electrician. 1396 01:09:56,359 --> 01:09:58,778 Baby, just screw the goddamn bulb in the socket. 1397 01:09:59,070 --> 01:10:02,490 Mrs. Forrest, I've never seen you like this. 1398 01:10:02,782 --> 01:10:04,034 This is not you. 1399 01:10:04,326 --> 01:10:07,454 No, this is not you at all. 1400 01:12:09,242 --> 01:12:10,744 How the heck did you get up here? 1401 01:12:11,036 --> 01:12:12,370 The wonders of literature. 1402 01:12:12,662 --> 01:12:15,749 To Everest and Beyond: Mountain Climbing made Easy. 1403 01:12:16,041 --> 01:12:19,044 We are going to that luau. 1404 01:12:21,046 --> 01:12:21,629 Marvel Ann. 1405 01:12:21,921 --> 01:12:23,631 I knew you'd come crawling back. 1406 01:12:23,923 --> 01:12:25,484 I'm looking for Chicklet. Have you seen her? 1407 01:12:25,508 --> 01:12:30,305 Yeah, she's in the bottom of this glass. 1408 01:12:35,226 --> 01:12:36,478 - Bettina? - Hmm? 1409 01:12:36,770 --> 01:12:37,354 Have you seen Chicklet? 1410 01:12:37,645 --> 01:12:39,022 Oh, no, come to think of it, 1411 01:12:39,314 --> 01:12:40,314 I haven't seen her. 1412 01:12:40,565 --> 01:12:40,982 Oh, but Starcat, 1413 01:12:41,274 --> 01:12:42,817 I want you to meet my new friend. 1414 01:12:43,109 --> 01:12:45,487 This is Joey. He's deaf. 1415 01:12:45,779 --> 01:12:49,491 Oh, and look, he has 11 fingers. 1416 01:12:49,783 --> 01:12:50,867 Isn't that cute? 1417 01:12:53,370 --> 01:12:56,164 Poor sucker. Doesn't stand a chance in hell. 1418 01:12:56,456 --> 01:12:58,625 ♪ The tallest waves ♪ 1419 01:12:58,917 --> 01:13:01,544 ♪ Into outer space ♪ 1420 01:13:01,836 --> 01:13:03,129 Everything copacetic? 1421 01:13:03,421 --> 01:13:03,922 Nothing's copacetic. 1422 01:13:04,214 --> 01:13:06,841 The poi's overcooked, I see no lychee nuts. 1423 01:13:07,133 --> 01:13:07,717 I ordered lychee nuts, 1424 01:13:08,009 --> 01:13:09,169 and the pineapple's gone bad. 1425 01:13:09,344 --> 01:13:11,513 You can't make a pu pu platter without pineapple. 1426 01:13:11,805 --> 01:13:14,015 Pull yourself together, Provoloney. 1427 01:13:14,307 --> 01:13:16,059 You're at the breaking point. 1428 01:13:16,351 --> 01:13:19,020 I can't take the pressure. 1429 01:13:24,109 --> 01:13:26,027 Oh, shit. 1430 01:13:26,319 --> 01:13:29,447 My insides are finally moving. 1431 01:13:30,990 --> 01:13:31,574 I really got to go. 1432 01:13:31,866 --> 01:13:34,828 Do what you got to do, man, and don't forget: 1433 01:13:35,120 --> 01:13:39,749 When you get back, I'll be waiting for you. 1434 01:13:40,041 --> 01:13:43,128 Yo Yo, you're the greatest. 1435 01:13:59,769 --> 01:14:02,939 Chicklet, wow. 1436 01:14:03,231 --> 01:14:04,482 You look so... 1437 01:14:04,774 --> 01:14:06,234 Glamorous? 1438 01:14:06,526 --> 01:14:08,194 Sophisticated? 1439 01:14:08,486 --> 01:14:10,155 - Scrumptious? - Yeah. 1440 01:14:10,447 --> 01:14:13,116 Look, I don't know how to say this, 1441 01:14:13,408 --> 01:14:14,826 but you shouldn't be here. 1442 01:14:15,118 --> 01:14:17,412 - Oh, I get the picture. - You do? 1443 01:14:17,704 --> 01:14:18,722 Now that Marvel Ann's here, 1444 01:14:18,746 --> 01:14:21,124 I'm back to being Lassie to your Timmy. 1445 01:14:21,416 --> 01:14:21,875 Now, get this. 1446 01:14:22,167 --> 01:14:23,751 I'm gonna be the life of this luau, 1447 01:14:24,043 --> 01:14:27,172 and if anyone tries to stop me, I'll... 1448 01:14:27,464 --> 01:14:29,591 I'll kill them. 1449 01:14:41,102 --> 01:14:43,688 - Hello. - Hello. 1450 01:14:46,357 --> 01:14:49,444 Kanaka, what gives? You know those characters? 1451 01:14:49,736 --> 01:14:50,945 I've had the displeasure. 1452 01:14:51,237 --> 01:14:52,739 Wedge Riley's out of the big house, 1453 01:14:53,031 --> 01:14:54,699 and the coroner's hurting for slabs. 1454 01:14:54,991 --> 01:14:58,119 I wonder if the two could be related. 1455 01:14:58,411 --> 01:15:00,997 Looks like they want to start something. 1456 01:15:01,289 --> 01:15:04,709 This started a long time ago. 1457 01:15:06,169 --> 01:15:07,169 Wedge Riley. 1458 01:15:07,420 --> 01:15:10,423 So what brings you to our nocturnal celebration? 1459 01:15:10,715 --> 01:15:13,760 Just a friendly visit. No need for confrontation. 1460 01:15:14,052 --> 01:15:16,137 Wedge, old man, I appreciate the wit, 1461 01:15:16,429 --> 01:15:19,224 but from trash like you I take no shit. 1462 01:15:19,516 --> 01:15:21,017 Cool, daddy-o, cool. 1463 01:15:21,309 --> 01:15:22,393 Over this domain you rule, 1464 01:15:22,685 --> 01:15:24,437 but let me give you some good advice: 1465 01:15:24,729 --> 01:15:28,233 To honor King Neptune you need a virgin sacrifice. 1466 01:15:28,525 --> 01:15:30,109 Virgin sacrifice? What the hell's that? 1467 01:15:30,401 --> 01:15:32,946 An ancient ritual started in Del Mar in '52. 1468 01:15:33,238 --> 01:15:33,863 Forget it, Wedge. 1469 01:15:34,155 --> 01:15:36,616 Well, what happens to the virgin sacrifice? 1470 01:15:36,908 --> 01:15:38,326 I mean, what do you do to her? 1471 01:15:38,618 --> 01:15:39,698 You shouldn't even be here. 1472 01:15:39,953 --> 01:15:42,997 There you go, treating me like a pipsqueak again. 1473 01:15:43,289 --> 01:15:44,409 We were gonna do the ritual, 1474 01:15:44,499 --> 01:15:46,543 but it turns out we don't got no virgins. 1475 01:15:46,834 --> 01:15:49,671 Well, I'll do it. I mean, I'm your man... 1476 01:15:49,963 --> 01:15:51,631 I mean, your virgin. 1477 01:15:51,923 --> 01:15:53,132 Ooh, yeah, 1478 01:15:53,424 --> 01:15:57,136 fresh as a salad out of the fridge. 1479 01:15:57,428 --> 01:15:58,137 You'll do nicely. 1480 01:15:58,429 --> 01:16:00,723 - I won't let you. - Please, Chicklet, don't. 1481 01:16:01,015 --> 01:16:02,892 It's an existential fate worse than death. 1482 01:16:03,184 --> 01:16:07,689 You gonna let your pals spoil a night you'll never forget? 1483 01:16:09,190 --> 01:16:12,068 Let the ritual begin. 1484 01:16:12,402 --> 01:16:13,778 I do have a few conditions, though. 1485 01:16:14,070 --> 01:16:17,073 I mean, first of all, no blindfolds. 1486 01:16:19,617 --> 01:16:22,036 What's going on back there? 1487 01:16:25,248 --> 01:16:26,248 Hey, is that Chicklet? 1488 01:16:26,291 --> 01:16:29,794 She's got more garnish on her than my grandma's antipasto. 1489 01:16:30,086 --> 01:16:31,629 Oh, at least she has clothes on. 1490 01:16:31,921 --> 01:16:35,383 That's more than I got back in Altoona. 1491 01:16:36,301 --> 01:16:40,471 King Neptune, to you we offer the ring of fate. 1492 01:16:40,763 --> 01:16:43,725 In other words, scumbags, form a circle! 1493 01:16:45,059 --> 01:16:46,139 No circles. That... that... 1494 01:16:46,352 --> 01:16:50,023 That's not the way we do things around here. 1495 01:16:54,444 --> 01:16:57,280 Dance, fools, dance. 1496 01:16:57,572 --> 01:16:59,240 That ain't the way a virgin should act. 1497 01:16:59,532 --> 01:17:00,700 Kiss my ass, flunky. 1498 01:17:00,992 --> 01:17:02,011 I'm calling the shots now. 1499 01:17:02,035 --> 01:17:05,747 Put me down from this thing, now! 1500 01:17:06,039 --> 01:17:07,039 Where's my whip? 1501 01:17:07,081 --> 01:17:08,416 Who's got my goddamn whip? 1502 01:17:08,708 --> 01:17:10,308 Now Chicklet's gonna do some impressions. 1503 01:17:10,418 --> 01:17:15,089 - Do your Zsa-Zsa. - I warned you not to touch me. 1504 01:17:15,465 --> 01:17:19,302 - That's one flaked-out chick. - I'm not mere chick. 1505 01:17:19,594 --> 01:17:20,136 I'm a goddess, 1506 01:17:20,428 --> 01:17:24,682 and the first thing I'm gonna sacrifice are your balls, Sonny. 1507 01:17:26,893 --> 01:17:31,064 There! Officers, those men seduced my daughter. 1508 01:17:31,356 --> 01:17:32,774 Your daughter is mentally ill. 1509 01:17:33,066 --> 01:17:34,942 She's not sick. She's not sick! 1510 01:17:35,234 --> 01:17:36,234 It's true! 1511 01:17:36,402 --> 01:17:40,114 I'm hardly the lunatic you're painting me to be. 1512 01:17:40,406 --> 01:17:41,406 I'm utterly in control. 1513 01:17:41,574 --> 01:17:43,534 You're merely a delusion of Chicklet Forrest 1514 01:17:43,826 --> 01:17:46,329 that enables her to express anger and rage. 1515 01:17:46,621 --> 01:17:49,415 Fancy phrases and a big basket. 1516 01:17:49,707 --> 01:17:51,417 I'm gonna place you under hypnosis, 1517 01:17:51,709 --> 01:17:53,509 and we're gonna get to the root of the trauma, 1518 01:17:53,670 --> 01:17:55,588 the guilt complex that fragmented 1519 01:17:55,880 --> 01:17:56,589 Chicklet's personality. 1520 01:17:56,881 --> 01:17:57,881 I can't allow this. 1521 01:17:57,924 --> 01:17:59,318 He doesn't even know what he's doing. 1522 01:17:59,342 --> 01:18:01,302 He's had three semesters of psych at Northwestern. 1523 01:18:01,427 --> 01:18:03,429 It's either that or an ice pick lobotomy. 1524 01:18:03,721 --> 01:18:06,599 Starcat, proceed. 1525 01:18:07,266 --> 01:18:10,561 You're feeling tired, drowsy. 1526 01:18:10,853 --> 01:18:12,438 You can't keep your eyes open. 1527 01:18:12,730 --> 01:18:14,732 Oh, someone stop this madness. 1528 01:18:15,024 --> 01:18:16,359 Oh, shut your hole. 1529 01:18:16,651 --> 01:18:18,736 Go on, darling Doctor Starcat. 1530 01:18:19,028 --> 01:18:21,656 I want to talk to Chicklet. 1531 01:18:22,532 --> 01:18:24,325 It's hard. 1532 01:18:24,617 --> 01:18:26,994 I feel so far away. 1533 01:18:28,329 --> 01:18:30,289 I can't... travel down the Hollywood freeway. 1534 01:18:30,581 --> 01:18:31,701 Be prepared for stop-and-go- 1535 01:18:40,133 --> 01:18:41,759 What's going on? 1536 01:18:42,051 --> 01:18:43,970 It's a bad connection. 1537 01:18:44,262 --> 01:18:44,762 Help me. 1538 01:18:45,054 --> 01:18:46,889 - Chicklet, is that you? - Uh-huh. 1539 01:18:47,181 --> 01:18:49,475 - How old are you? - 7 1/2. 1540 01:18:49,767 --> 01:18:53,312 - I don't like this place. - Where are you? 1541 01:18:53,604 --> 01:18:54,856 The hotel. 1542 01:18:56,858 --> 01:18:59,318 Oh, well, look who's here. 1543 01:18:59,610 --> 01:19:00,778 We've got visitors. 1544 01:19:01,070 --> 01:19:03,489 Curtsy, Florence, like I taught you. 1545 01:19:03,781 --> 01:19:05,992 Mama, we're ready to go to the movies. 1546 01:19:06,284 --> 01:19:09,036 Oh, darlings, I'm so sorry. 1547 01:19:09,328 --> 01:19:11,956 We're gonna have to skip the picture. 1548 01:19:12,248 --> 01:19:13,541 But you promised. 1549 01:19:13,833 --> 01:19:15,668 Well, mother's got to do her part 1550 01:19:15,960 --> 01:19:17,420 for the boys serving our country. 1551 01:19:17,712 --> 01:19:21,090 Why don't you and Frankie go sit in the living room 1552 01:19:21,382 --> 01:19:24,177 and listen to the radio? 1553 01:19:25,303 --> 01:19:28,723 Sugar, I don't even know your name. 1554 01:19:29,015 --> 01:19:33,478 Oh, pleased to meet you, Johnny. 1555 01:19:33,853 --> 01:19:36,939 I'm Anne, Anne Bowman. 1556 01:19:37,231 --> 01:19:40,651 I was so angry. I wanted to hurt her. 1557 01:19:40,943 --> 01:19:44,655 I took Frankie to the playground across the street. 1558 01:19:44,947 --> 01:19:46,032 Please don't make me go on. 1559 01:19:46,324 --> 01:19:48,826 You got to. What happened next? 1560 01:19:49,118 --> 01:19:52,705 He kept asking me to push him harder and harder 1561 01:19:52,997 --> 01:19:55,833 until he was soaring into the clouds. 1562 01:19:56,125 --> 01:19:57,125 Then he said, 1563 01:19:57,251 --> 01:19:59,921 "Make me go round the world." 1564 01:20:01,798 --> 01:20:03,966 Aah! 1565 01:20:05,676 --> 01:20:07,470 No! 1566 01:20:07,762 --> 01:20:11,057 I did it, I did it, I killed him! 1567 01:20:11,349 --> 01:20:12,558 It was my fault. 1568 01:20:12,850 --> 01:20:14,769 When Florence lost her memory 1569 01:20:15,061 --> 01:20:16,521 I took it as a blessing from God. 1570 01:20:16,813 --> 01:20:19,398 I vowed to create a better life for us. 1571 01:20:19,690 --> 01:20:22,276 I changed my name, I moved to a new city. 1572 01:20:22,568 --> 01:20:25,154 - Oh, Mother, hold me. - Darling. 1573 01:20:25,446 --> 01:20:30,326 That's the most exciting story idea I've heard in years. 1574 01:20:30,618 --> 01:20:33,663 This is the project that could showcase my talent 1575 01:20:33,955 --> 01:20:35,456 as a great dramatic actress. 1576 01:20:35,748 --> 01:20:36,123 Story? 1577 01:20:36,415 --> 01:20:38,876 A surfer chick with a split personality. 1578 01:20:39,168 --> 01:20:40,795 Oh, I can see a hit Broadway play, 1579 01:20:41,087 --> 01:20:42,356 and we'll sort out the movie rights. 1580 01:20:42,380 --> 01:20:45,007 Honey, I want to option this property, and believe me, 1581 01:20:45,299 --> 01:20:45,967 I'll pay top dollar. 1582 01:20:46,259 --> 01:20:47,820 Bettina, do you think you're ready to tackle 1583 01:20:47,844 --> 01:20:52,890 - such a complex role? - I don't think, I feel. 1584 01:20:53,182 --> 01:20:54,851 I know this girl. 1585 01:20:55,142 --> 01:20:56,936 I am Chicklet. 1586 01:20:57,228 --> 01:20:59,021 I hate to miss your opening night, 1587 01:20:59,313 --> 01:21:02,066 but I'll be in a loony bin for the criminally cuckoo. 1588 01:21:02,358 --> 01:21:04,569 - Oh, no. - Not so fast, Chicklet. 1589 01:21:04,861 --> 01:21:08,072 I wouldn't model that straightjacket just yet. 1590 01:21:08,364 --> 01:21:12,243 But if I didn't butcher all those people, who did? 1591 01:21:12,535 --> 01:21:15,162 Someone so tormented for being an outsider 1592 01:21:15,454 --> 01:21:18,749 that she's compelled to destroy others who don't fit in. 1593 01:21:19,041 --> 01:21:22,670 Mrs. Forrest, you're under arrest. 1594 01:21:22,962 --> 01:21:24,338 Oh, no! It can't be! 1595 01:21:24,630 --> 01:21:27,633 What are you doing? This is a dreadful mistake. 1596 01:21:27,925 --> 01:21:29,969 Come on, sister, you're going places. 1597 01:21:30,261 --> 01:21:33,931 Get your hands off me. I'm innocent, I tell you! 1598 01:21:34,223 --> 01:21:34,682 I'm innocent! 1599 01:21:34,974 --> 01:21:36,976 All right, cut her off at the pits. 1600 01:21:37,268 --> 01:21:38,268 Let me go. 1601 01:21:38,394 --> 01:21:40,396 No, I'm not moving. 1602 01:21:40,688 --> 01:21:42,815 Just try and make me, pig-woman! 1603 01:21:43,107 --> 01:21:45,860 Lady, you are getting me steamed! 1604 01:21:46,152 --> 01:21:47,403 Oh, please don't hurt her! 1605 01:21:47,695 --> 01:21:49,113 You'll never get away with this, 1606 01:21:49,405 --> 01:21:53,159 motherfucking cocksuckers! 1607 01:21:54,368 --> 01:21:58,164 My mother, a murderess? 1608 01:21:58,456 --> 01:22:00,708 What next? 1609 01:22:01,792 --> 01:22:05,171 Oh, Berdine, did I hurt you? 1610 01:22:05,463 --> 01:22:06,463 I'm so sorry. 1611 01:22:06,631 --> 01:22:08,674 Oh, I thought by making excuses for you 1612 01:22:08,966 --> 01:22:10,968 I was being a best friend. 1613 01:22:11,260 --> 01:22:13,387 I should have gotten you help. 1614 01:22:13,679 --> 01:22:16,390 I stink rotten eggs. 1615 01:22:20,519 --> 01:22:22,980 We've got to get both of you home. 1616 01:22:23,272 --> 01:22:25,191 Actually... 1617 01:22:25,483 --> 01:22:29,028 I think I'd like to stay a little longer. 1618 01:22:29,320 --> 01:22:31,864 I can take Florence home. 1619 01:22:32,156 --> 01:22:32,531 Oh, Lars, 1620 01:22:32,823 --> 01:22:35,785 you sure picked one heck of an American family 1621 01:22:36,077 --> 01:22:37,495 to shack up with. 1622 01:22:37,787 --> 01:22:40,164 I'm not worried. 1623 01:22:43,125 --> 01:22:45,252 How can I ever thank you? 1624 01:22:45,544 --> 01:22:48,965 Well, you just being Chicklet again's all the thanks I need, 1625 01:22:49,256 --> 01:22:51,425 and believe me, one's enough. 1626 01:22:54,095 --> 01:22:55,930 Shall we go? 1627 01:23:16,242 --> 01:23:16,951 Florence, 1628 01:23:17,243 --> 01:23:20,579 this must be the worst thing that's ever happened to you. 1629 01:23:20,871 --> 01:23:23,582 It's definitely up there in the top ten. 1630 01:23:23,874 --> 01:23:27,169 Your mother couldn't help herself. 1631 01:23:27,461 --> 01:23:28,461 In her own way, 1632 01:23:28,587 --> 01:23:33,134 she believed she was saving those poor, sick people. 1633 01:23:33,426 --> 01:23:34,135 If you don't mind, 1634 01:23:34,427 --> 01:23:37,722 I'm not really in the mood for conversation right now. 1635 01:23:38,014 --> 01:23:40,975 I understand completely. 1636 01:23:43,352 --> 01:23:44,937 Still, I was surprised 1637 01:23:45,229 --> 01:23:48,649 to learn of your deep psychological problems. 1638 01:23:48,941 --> 01:23:49,567 I always thought of you 1639 01:23:49,859 --> 01:23:53,070 as a well-adjusted typical American girl. 1640 01:23:53,362 --> 01:23:55,656 Almost boring, really. 1641 01:23:55,948 --> 01:23:57,450 I'm sorry to disappoint you. 1642 01:23:57,742 --> 01:24:00,286 There is so much ugliness in the world. 1643 01:24:00,578 --> 01:24:05,624 Can't there be anyone who is utterly perfect? 1644 01:24:08,210 --> 01:24:12,006 Gee, all those revelations today have made me famished. 1645 01:24:12,298 --> 01:24:15,968 How's about stopping over there for a quick bite? 1646 01:24:16,260 --> 01:24:18,804 I think not. 1647 01:24:20,306 --> 01:24:21,746 Psychologically it just doesn't jive. 1648 01:24:22,016 --> 01:24:25,269 - It can't be Mrs. Forrest. - Hmm. Poor Chicklet. 1649 01:24:25,561 --> 01:24:26,801 Well, at least she's not alone. 1650 01:24:26,854 --> 01:24:30,775 It's a good thing she has Lars with her, huh? 1651 01:24:31,525 --> 01:24:32,525 Yeah, Lars. 1652 01:24:32,777 --> 01:24:35,154 Bettina, do you still have that photo of the Elkins family? 1653 01:24:35,446 --> 01:24:38,115 Well, you mean the ones who were murdered? 1654 01:24:38,407 --> 01:24:41,368 I put it in the credenza. 1655 01:24:50,711 --> 01:24:53,089 Starcat, what are you doing? 1656 01:25:34,672 --> 01:25:37,800 Why are you running away from me? 1657 01:25:38,092 --> 01:25:40,803 I only want to help you! 1658 01:25:51,272 --> 01:25:52,352 Could you pass the mustard? 1659 01:25:52,439 --> 01:25:55,317 Lars, what happened to your accent? 1660 01:25:55,609 --> 01:25:59,989 I don't need it. I can finally be myself. 1661 01:26:00,656 --> 01:26:04,034 - Call me Larry. - As in Elkins? 1662 01:26:04,326 --> 01:26:04,785 Pleased to meet you. 1663 01:26:05,077 --> 01:26:06,745 Unfortunately, this is also good-bye. 1664 01:26:07,037 --> 01:26:09,248 - You best be backing off. - Huh? 1665 01:26:09,540 --> 01:26:12,126 You a nut. Give me that knife. 1666 01:26:12,418 --> 01:26:14,295 I'm axing you nicely, give me that thang. 1667 01:26:14,587 --> 01:26:15,707 Oh, I'll give you the knife. 1668 01:26:15,921 --> 01:26:18,924 You going, down, fuckface. 1669 01:26:22,761 --> 01:26:23,304 Criminy. 1670 01:26:23,596 --> 01:26:28,017 There's the Dodge. They must be in the drive-in. 1671 01:26:40,946 --> 01:26:42,573 How could you do that to your own family? 1672 01:26:42,865 --> 01:26:44,200 You're just like all the others. 1673 01:26:44,491 --> 01:26:46,327 - No one understands. - Try me. 1674 01:26:46,619 --> 01:26:47,661 I can be very perceptive. 1675 01:26:47,953 --> 01:26:48,662 You can't possibly imagine 1676 01:26:48,954 --> 01:26:51,207 what it's like to grow up in a house of freaks. 1677 01:26:51,498 --> 01:26:54,418 My mother was blind, my father was deaf, 1678 01:26:54,710 --> 01:26:56,503 and my sisters were midgets. 1679 01:26:56,795 --> 01:26:59,256 They had to die so I could be free. 1680 01:26:59,548 --> 01:27:00,007 So why kill me? 1681 01:27:00,299 --> 01:27:02,927 I'm your pal. I'm the one who fixed your pants. 1682 01:27:03,219 --> 01:27:07,348 And now I'm gonna fix you. 1683 01:27:40,798 --> 01:27:43,425 Look, up there! 1684 01:28:00,609 --> 01:28:02,236 Alone at last. 1685 01:28:02,528 --> 01:28:04,697 Larry, please, don't. 1686 01:28:06,490 --> 01:28:12,204 I've got you now, just the way I want you. 1687 01:28:12,496 --> 01:28:15,416 You pathetic little worm. 1688 01:28:15,708 --> 01:28:18,836 - No man conquers Anne Bowman. - What? 1689 01:28:20,170 --> 01:28:22,965 You're weak. You disgust me. 1690 01:28:23,257 --> 01:28:25,509 You like being humiliated, don't you? 1691 01:28:25,801 --> 01:28:28,220 - Help me. - Chicklet! 1692 01:28:28,512 --> 01:28:30,347 Starcat? 1693 01:28:30,639 --> 01:28:34,518 The bitch is gone, and now so are you. 1694 01:28:36,520 --> 01:28:38,897 Put down the knife. 1695 01:28:39,189 --> 01:28:40,357 Make me. 1696 01:28:47,656 --> 01:28:50,326 Poor Larry. 1697 01:28:50,617 --> 01:28:53,579 That's the end of that. 1698 01:29:06,133 --> 01:29:10,512 The circle goes round, but I'm still me. 1699 01:29:10,804 --> 01:29:12,598 You're cured. 1700 01:29:19,146 --> 01:29:20,356 I remember that grip. 1701 01:29:20,647 --> 01:29:25,152 - Feels good? - Mmm, it feels real good. 1702 01:29:26,987 --> 01:29:28,781 Want to wrestle? 1703 01:29:29,073 --> 01:29:30,908 For the championship. 1704 01:29:31,200 --> 01:29:34,286 Let's get out of here. 1705 01:29:39,124 --> 01:29:43,670 Boy, there sure are a lot of twisted souls out there. 1706 01:29:44,296 --> 01:29:46,215 Maybe I should become a psychiatrist. 1707 01:29:46,507 --> 01:29:47,925 You'd be tops. 1708 01:29:48,217 --> 01:29:49,343 I'm proof of that. 1709 01:29:49,635 --> 01:29:51,637 I'd have to go back to school. 1710 01:29:51,929 --> 01:29:54,348 Leave everything behind. 1711 01:29:54,640 --> 01:29:56,600 Not everything. 1712 01:29:56,892 --> 01:29:59,645 Chicklet, I was wondering, 1713 01:29:59,937 --> 01:30:01,939 would you wear my pin? 1714 01:30:02,231 --> 01:30:04,274 Will I ever? 1715 01:30:13,409 --> 01:30:14,409 Florence? 1716 01:30:14,451 --> 01:30:17,204 Florence? Florence, wake up. 1717 01:30:17,496 --> 01:30:18,496 Wake up. 1718 01:30:18,705 --> 01:30:21,708 You got to get up. 1719 01:30:22,000 --> 01:30:23,877 I must have been dreaming. 1720 01:30:24,169 --> 01:30:27,840 It's time for your treatment. 1721 01:30:28,132 --> 01:30:30,134 Ready? 1722 01:30:45,858 --> 01:30:49,236 You were in my dream. 1723 01:30:49,528 --> 01:30:51,697 - And you were there. - Mm-hmm. 1724 01:30:51,989 --> 01:30:54,074 - Bite. - And you. 1725 01:30:54,366 --> 01:30:58,745 We dream many foolish things when we're ill. 1726 01:31:00,998 --> 01:31:01,998 Kisses. 1727 01:31:14,678 --> 01:31:16,680 So it was all her dream? 1728 01:31:16,972 --> 01:31:17,389 What a gyp. 1729 01:31:17,681 --> 01:31:19,475 Well, it's based on a true story. 1730 01:31:19,766 --> 01:31:22,478 I'm just glad that creepy Anne Bowman 1731 01:31:22,769 --> 01:31:24,188 is locked up for good. 1732 01:31:24,480 --> 01:31:26,023 Don't be so sure, darlings. 1733 01:31:40,329 --> 01:31:42,789 ♪ P-s-y-c-h-o, psycho ♪ 1734 01:31:43,081 --> 01:31:46,043 ♪ P-s-y-c-h-o, psycho ♪ 1735 01:31:47,669 --> 01:31:51,715 ♪ There was a crazy beach party that was underway ♪ 1736 01:31:53,175 --> 01:31:57,387 ♪ With lots of rocking teenagers from the USA ♪ 1737 01:31:58,555 --> 01:32:02,893 ♪ They planed to romp and stomp till broad daylight ♪ 1738 01:32:04,102 --> 01:32:05,582 ♪ But there was something in the air ♪ 1739 01:32:05,687 --> 01:32:08,941 ♪ That something wasn't quite right ♪ 1740 01:32:09,816 --> 01:32:12,486 ♪ If I sing anymore, I might give it away ♪ 1741 01:32:12,778 --> 01:32:15,989 ♪ It was a psycho beach party in the USA ♪ 1742 01:32:16,281 --> 01:32:18,659 ♪ P-s-y-c-h-o, psycho ♪ 1743 01:32:18,951 --> 01:32:22,412 ♪ P-s-y-c-h-o, psycho ♪ 1744 01:32:26,333 --> 01:32:27,709 ♪ Yeah ♪ 1745 01:32:41,473 --> 01:32:43,308 ♪ Ooh ♪ 1746 01:33:31,064 --> 01:33:33,734 ♪ P-s-y-c-h-o, psycho ♪ 1747 01:33:34,026 --> 01:33:37,404 ♪ P-s-y-c-h-o, psycho ♪