1 00:01:04,063 --> 00:01:07,316 It was Goethe who said we love girls for what they are. 2 00:01:07,358 --> 00:01:09,569 Well, even the great Goethe could have learned something 3 00:01:09,610 --> 00:01:13,489 from the tale that took place on the campus of Illinois State Tech. 4 00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:27,962 May 10, 11:02... Don Rhiner, the school's star running back, 5 00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:30,548 and candidate for All-American was out for a drive. 6 00:01:34,510 --> 00:01:36,596 Don never did make All-American. 7 00:01:58,326 --> 00:02:00,745 - Let's walk, Don. - Sure. 8 00:03:23,327 --> 00:03:24,870 May 11, 10:00 a.m. 9 00:03:24,912 --> 00:03:28,874 I wasn't too choked up with Vincenzo sending me to an alderman's press conference, 10 00:03:28,916 --> 00:03:31,377 so when I caught the police report of two bodies being found 11 00:03:31,419 --> 00:03:35,297 on the 1.S.T. campus lake, it gave me an excuse... 12 00:03:35,339 --> 00:03:39,343 That, and running out of gas, which I didn't plan. 13 00:04:00,072 --> 00:04:03,451 No signs of trauma on either one of them. 14 00:04:03,492 --> 00:04:05,995 No address on the girl. 15 00:04:06,036 --> 00:04:09,999 But we know she was a hype. Look at the spike tracks on her arm. 16 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:12,042 That look on Rhiner's face... 17 00:04:12,084 --> 00:04:14,879 Yeah, I know. 18 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:18,924 Just like that other student we found Thursday... Burdett. 19 00:04:18,966 --> 00:04:22,386 - Like he was scared to death. - We're gonna have to keep that under wraps, 20 00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:25,264 before somebody blows it up into another Hindenburg disaster. 21 00:04:25,306 --> 00:04:28,476 Don't worry. Report's got Burdett dead of natural causes. 22 00:04:28,517 --> 00:04:30,895 Heart attack. Now this kid too? 23 00:04:30,936 --> 00:04:33,564 Well, there's no law against dropping dead. 24 00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:35,691 Captain, what do you think's going on? 25 00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:38,110 Excuse me, Captain. 26 00:04:38,152 --> 00:04:41,030 - How long have you been here? - Who, me? 27 00:04:41,071 --> 00:04:43,741 - How long? - Oh. Uh... 28 00:04:45,993 --> 00:04:47,870 "No law against dropping dead." 29 00:04:47,912 --> 00:04:50,873 You put that on the wire and I'll have you eighty-sixed permanently. 30 00:04:50,915 --> 00:04:53,834 - I was just passing through. - Captain, I'm Rosalind Winters. 31 00:04:53,876 --> 00:04:57,671 Just a minute, just a minute. You want to take another trip in a police car, Kolchak? 32 00:04:57,713 --> 00:05:01,133 - I'm Rosalind Winters and... - J-Just hush up. Will you shut up? 33 00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:04,261 I take it the department has a formal writ to suppress, huh? 34 00:05:04,303 --> 00:05:06,263 Who signed it? Who issued it, huh? Who? 35 00:05:06,305 --> 00:05:09,016 I'm Rosalind Winters, reporter for the Blue Monitor. 36 00:05:09,058 --> 00:05:12,061 - The blue what? - The Blue Monitor... the campus weekly. 37 00:05:12,102 --> 00:05:14,480 - Do you have a comment to make? - Well? 38 00:05:14,522 --> 00:05:17,441 Yeah, but you couldn't print it. 39 00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,693 Come on, Mark. Come on, let's go. 40 00:05:19,735 --> 00:05:22,238 Hi there. My name's Carl Kolchak. We haven't met. You're... 41 00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:22,988 Mark Hansen. 42 00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:25,091 Mark Hansen, you were a friend of the deceased, weren't you? 43 00:05:25,115 --> 00:05:27,076 - Yeah. - Yes, could you tell me... 44 00:05:27,117 --> 00:05:29,078 Look, Kolchak, I gotta tell you something. 45 00:05:29,119 --> 00:05:31,664 - Some people dream about retiring. - Uh-huh. 46 00:05:31,705 --> 00:05:33,999 I dream about breaking your face. 47 00:05:34,041 --> 00:05:35,668 I love you too, Siska. 48 00:05:35,709 --> 00:05:39,171 - Listen. How's your therapy coming along? A-okay? - Shut up. 49 00:05:41,549 --> 00:05:43,509 Absolutely bananas. 50 00:05:44,593 --> 00:05:46,554 - Oh! Uh... - Oh, excuse me. 51 00:05:46,595 --> 00:05:48,806 - Blue Bird... - Blue Monitor. 52 00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:50,617 Blue Monitor. Yeah. Where's the nearest gas station? 53 00:05:50,641 --> 00:05:54,395 - About a mile that way. - About a mile that way. 54 00:05:56,188 --> 00:05:59,441 You wouldn't happen to have a set of wheels, would you? 55 00:05:59,483 --> 00:06:01,944 - Sure. Come on. - Yeah? 56 00:06:15,249 --> 00:06:19,461 - Listen. When I said "wheels," I meant four. - Mm-hmm. 57 00:06:19,503 --> 00:06:21,547 Fill it up? 58 00:06:21,589 --> 00:06:24,508 You know, I've been thinking, Kolchak. 59 00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:28,679 Now you and I could work together on this story, because I know this campus inside out. 60 00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:30,931 Sorry. I always work alone. 61 00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:33,034 - Work alone, walk alone. - What, now wait. Wait a minute. 62 00:06:33,058 --> 00:06:35,227 Let's talk. Let's talk. 63 00:06:35,269 --> 00:06:38,022 Yeah, we can talk in the cafeteria next week. 64 00:06:38,063 --> 00:06:40,608 Talk or walk, Kolchak. 65 00:06:40,649 --> 00:06:42,586 Well, all right, all right. We'll talk. We'll talk. 66 00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:45,029 But you talk first, right? 67 00:06:45,070 --> 00:06:47,883 I mean, I'm new around here. You're supposed to know this campus backwards. 68 00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:50,993 Well, it's weird, you know? I mean, finding Don Rhiner by that girl's body? 69 00:06:51,035 --> 00:06:52,995 They found Pete Burdett with a dead girl too. 70 00:06:54,830 --> 00:06:57,550 - Well, I didn't hear that. - Well, a good reporter has her contacts. 71 00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:00,084 Who was the girl? Where was she from? What'd she die of? 72 00:07:00,085 --> 00:07:01,712 Uh, I'm... I'm working on that. 73 00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:04,381 How about some facts? Some names? Dates? 74 00:07:04,423 --> 00:07:06,592 Was she dressed, was she nude, was she half nude? What? 75 00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:09,219 - I don't know. - What about, uh... What's his name? 76 00:07:09,261 --> 00:07:11,221 - Burdett? - Burdett, yeah, and Rhiner? 77 00:07:11,263 --> 00:07:13,223 They have any previous history of heart attack? 78 00:07:13,265 --> 00:07:15,392 - I don't know! - What kind of reporter are you? 79 00:07:15,434 --> 00:07:17,645 I said I was working on it. 80 00:07:17,686 --> 00:07:21,273 When you finish working on it and you get some facts, let me know. 81 00:07:21,315 --> 00:07:24,777 - Some collaboration. - Some reporter. Well, aren't you gonna... 82 00:07:24,818 --> 00:07:27,404 Wait, wait. Where you... Wait a minute! 83 00:07:27,446 --> 00:07:29,365 Hey, wait! 84 00:07:30,991 --> 00:07:34,870 I can't understand why the Coaches' Association is interested in all this. 85 00:07:34,912 --> 00:07:37,831 We're building a file on unusual heart disease cases, Coach. 86 00:07:37,873 --> 00:07:39,875 - You see... - I'll be out in a minute. 87 00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:41,919 Now-Now, Coach, you claim that Don Rhiner 88 00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:43,980 - was in perfect physical condition, right? - Right, right. 89 00:07:44,004 --> 00:07:46,799 And that you checked out Pete Burdett's medical history, 90 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:49,402 and he was a picture of health when he tried out for the swimming team, right? 91 00:07:49,426 --> 00:07:51,971 - Actually, Burdett never made the team. - No? 92 00:07:52,012 --> 00:07:54,848 You see, his butterfly stroke was like an effeminate moth. 93 00:07:54,890 --> 00:07:58,686 - Oh, pity. - Both those boys had perfect E.K.G.'s. 94 00:07:58,727 --> 00:08:01,623 Then how do you explain two young men... two perfect physical specimens... 95 00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:03,649 Dropping dead from a heart attack? 96 00:08:03,691 --> 00:08:06,735 Do you want the usual rationalization, or can you handle the truth? 97 00:08:06,777 --> 00:08:09,655 No, I can handle the truth, Coach. Always the truth. 98 00:08:09,697 --> 00:08:13,242 Don Rhiner was a playboy, and he paid the price... bacteria. 99 00:08:13,283 --> 00:08:15,828 Bacteria? Germ... You mean germs? What kind of germs? 100 00:08:15,869 --> 00:08:17,538 Take your pick. 101 00:08:17,579 --> 00:08:20,457 You see, I'll tell you what I tell all my boys. 102 00:08:20,499 --> 00:08:22,834 There's a war going on, right here inside the body. 103 00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:23,794 Right here, huh? 104 00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:27,423 Right. And there are only two basic game plans: 105 00:08:27,464 --> 00:08:29,675 Absolute physical hygiene, 106 00:08:29,717 --> 00:08:32,511 and the other? 107 00:08:36,056 --> 00:08:36,849 Tuna fish? 108 00:08:36,890 --> 00:08:38,934 Tuna fish. 109 00:08:42,521 --> 00:08:44,356 10:25. 110 00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:46,584 Craig Donnelly and Betty Walker arrived at Donnelly's apartment 111 00:08:46,608 --> 00:08:50,237 after dinner and a few too many glasses of champagne. 112 00:08:52,906 --> 00:08:56,368 - Wait right here, okay? - Okay. 113 00:08:56,410 --> 00:09:00,330 The bubbly had tasted good, but for Betty Walker it might as well have been strychnine. 114 00:09:00,372 --> 00:09:03,542 And away we go! 115 00:09:35,866 --> 00:09:39,620 I need an ambulance. Hurry! 116 00:09:39,661 --> 00:09:41,663 187 Felicity Street. 117 00:09:48,420 --> 00:09:52,466 Oh! 118 00:09:57,429 --> 00:09:59,848 The same night, 11:00 p.m. 119 00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:04,853 The on-campus living quarters of archaeology professor C. Evan Spate. 120 00:10:04,895 --> 00:10:08,857 Spate, a recipient of a coveted Pace Institute grant, 121 00:10:08,899 --> 00:10:11,961 and his student assistant, Mark Hansen, were attempting to discover the meaning 122 00:10:11,985 --> 00:10:15,614 in a piece of clay some 10,000 years old. 123 00:10:15,656 --> 00:10:17,658 You don't really seem to be with it tonight, Mark. 124 00:10:17,699 --> 00:10:20,828 - Why don't you knock off? - Yeah, I'm sorry, Dr. Spate. 125 00:10:20,869 --> 00:10:23,622 I guess I'm more upset about Don Rhiner's death than I thought. 126 00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:25,707 - Yeah. - I think I will knock off. 127 00:10:31,505 --> 00:10:34,383 - It's coming along. - Yes, it is. Good night, Mark. 128 00:10:34,424 --> 00:10:36,426 Good night. 129 00:10:44,434 --> 00:10:47,896 On the night of May 11, they would both make a discovery. 130 00:11:17,509 --> 00:11:19,136 Yes? 131 00:11:20,387 --> 00:11:22,890 You don't know me, but I wanted to meet you, 132 00:11:22,931 --> 00:11:25,184 and I didn't know anyone to introduce us. 133 00:11:25,225 --> 00:11:27,811 So, uh... 134 00:11:28,478 --> 00:11:29,771 Am I interrupting anything? 135 00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:33,358 No. No, not at all. 136 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:35,611 Come on in. 137 00:11:44,953 --> 00:11:47,289 Can I tell you something dumb? 138 00:11:47,331 --> 00:11:49,541 Mm-hmm. 139 00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:51,335 I want to touch your face. 140 00:11:52,628 --> 00:11:55,339 I've seen it so many times. 141 00:11:55,380 --> 00:11:58,800 I just want to convince myself I'm really here. 142 00:12:00,385 --> 00:12:02,304 Touch away. 143 00:12:05,599 --> 00:12:07,517 It's a fine face. 144 00:12:16,818 --> 00:12:18,987 Now what time did you see the girl come into this room? 145 00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:21,198 It was about 11:00, 11:30. 146 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,450 - Yeah, the news was just off the air. - Mm-hmm. 147 00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:24,636 You never saw her before, huh? 148 00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:26,954 No. Chicks float in and out of this building like pollen. 149 00:12:26,995 --> 00:12:29,456 But her, now her I'd remember, 150 00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:31,208 but I don't. 151 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:33,835 Her name was Betty Walker. Does that ring a bell? 152 00:12:33,877 --> 00:12:39,299 - Nope. - She resided at 602 Weyland Avenue, North Side. 153 00:12:39,341 --> 00:12:42,344 Is that a popular address for the boys in this frat? 154 00:12:42,386 --> 00:12:47,849 No. And it's "fraternity." We don't call it a frat anymore. 155 00:12:47,891 --> 00:12:49,226 Don't get lippy with me, boy. 156 00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:53,146 I might be tempted to go into your room and kind of poke around. 157 00:12:53,188 --> 00:12:55,774 Might find some funny vegetables in there. 158 00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:59,695 Captain, the girl has a major contusion at the base of her skull. 159 00:12:59,736 --> 00:13:02,906 I think we can attribute death to a severe blow. 160 00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:04,908 What about the boy? 161 00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:07,160 Well, we're gonna need some more tests, 162 00:13:07,202 --> 00:13:09,138 but you can see for yourself the look on his face. 163 00:13:09,162 --> 00:13:11,873 Same as the others... scared. 164 00:13:15,752 --> 00:13:18,005 - Kolchak! - I'm Rosalind Winters, reporter... 165 00:13:18,046 --> 00:13:20,549 - I know who you are! - Siska, you can't have that cassette! 166 00:13:20,590 --> 00:13:22,801 - You get your hands... - You can't have that cassette! 167 00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:24,821 - You can't interfere with the law. - You can't do that! 168 00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:27,448 That's an abridgement of the First and the Fourth Amendment. You can't... 169 00:13:27,472 --> 00:13:30,767 One more word out of you, and I will book you on illegal entry. 170 00:13:30,809 --> 00:13:33,246 - Now you get out of here. - I'm gonna bring you up on charges with the ACLU. 171 00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:35,397 - And take Tonto with you. Go, Tonto! 172 00:13:35,439 --> 00:13:37,107 Aw, shut up! 173 00:13:39,943 --> 00:13:42,154 Big fink ought to go back into therapy. 174 00:13:42,195 --> 00:13:44,549 - Hey, Kolchak, you still owe me. - Consider ourselves even, Tonto. 175 00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:47,617 Well, what about that lunch you promised me? 176 00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:53,707 May 11, 12:15 p.m. 177 00:13:53,749 --> 00:13:56,335 My first stop had been Betty Walker's apartment. 178 00:13:56,376 --> 00:13:59,338 Number two was an address furnished me by Betty's roommate... 179 00:13:59,379 --> 00:14:01,631 The apartment of Craig H. Donnelly. 180 00:14:01,673 --> 00:14:02,591 So then what happened? 181 00:14:02,632 --> 00:14:04,926 I ran up to that phone and called for an ambulance. 182 00:14:04,968 --> 00:14:06,928 When I came back down, she was gone. 183 00:14:06,970 --> 00:14:09,139 Well, maybe... Maybe she was still conscious. 184 00:14:09,181 --> 00:14:11,141 I spent three years in Vietnam. 185 00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:15,020 I know when someone's dead... And Betty was dead. 186 00:14:15,062 --> 00:14:16,539 How could she just disappear like that? 187 00:14:16,563 --> 00:14:18,523 Maybe somebody carted her off. 188 00:14:18,565 --> 00:14:21,526 What, in 30, 40 seconds? No way. 189 00:14:21,568 --> 00:14:24,029 Besides, this place was quiet... deserted. 190 00:14:25,614 --> 00:14:27,866 All I know is, I'll never forget seeing her gone. 191 00:14:27,908 --> 00:14:31,203 - And that smell. - What smell? 192 00:14:31,244 --> 00:14:33,306 - You ever been around a war, Kolchak? - Yeah, a couple of them. 193 00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:35,582 Then maybe you'll know what I'm talking about. 194 00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:37,334 Smells like death. 195 00:14:39,127 --> 00:14:41,046 Oh, yeah. 196 00:15:33,348 --> 00:15:36,893 - Good afternoon. - Wait your turn, please. 197 00:15:39,688 --> 00:15:42,232 May I... help you? 198 00:15:42,274 --> 00:15:45,402 Yeah. My name's Kolchak. I'm with Internal Affairs. 199 00:15:45,444 --> 00:15:48,113 - I've come for those records. - What records? 200 00:15:48,155 --> 00:15:52,325 What do you mean, what records? You mean to tell me that P.R. didn't contact you through 1.A.? 201 00:15:52,367 --> 00:15:54,494 What's the matter? Are you new here or something? 202 00:15:54,536 --> 00:15:57,747 - P.R. never goes through I A. - What? 203 00:15:57,789 --> 00:16:01,460 Sure, PR.cangoto GS, and then go through L.A_, but never directly. 204 00:16:01,501 --> 00:16:03,462 Well, that's exactly what I meant. 205 00:16:03,503 --> 00:16:06,298 Now, I've got a court order here for the school records 206 00:16:06,339 --> 00:16:09,509 of Peter Burdett and Don Rhiner and Mark Hansen. 207 00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:11,887 One more step, and I put a staple 208 00:16:11,928 --> 00:16:14,848 - right through that necktie to your backbone. - You'd do it too. 209 00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:18,351 All court orders have to go through C.L.D. 210 00:16:18,393 --> 00:16:23,273 That's the blue long form, JS-6, with Dean Sweeney's initials. 211 00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:25,775 - You know, the long blue form. - Mm-hmm. 212 00:16:25,817 --> 00:16:28,778 They may try to give you a short yellow and palm that off on you. 213 00:16:28,820 --> 00:16:31,907 Don't let 'em do it. You tell 'em you want a JS-6, you hear me? 214 00:16:31,948 --> 00:16:33,867 Mm-hmm. 215 00:16:33,909 --> 00:16:36,119 Security? I thought you said I. A. 216 00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:39,581 As far as anybody else is concerned around here, I am LA. 217 00:16:39,623 --> 00:16:40,665 - Oh. - Oh. 218 00:16:40,707 --> 00:16:44,169 Ah! Nobody goes in there. 219 00:16:45,837 --> 00:16:48,089 All right. 220 00:16:48,131 --> 00:16:51,426 Now you just fill out this form, nice and legibly. 221 00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:53,428 Mm-hmm. Okay. 222 00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:55,972 No. 223 00:16:57,724 --> 00:17:01,228 - I said legibly. - Legibly. Okay. 224 00:17:01,269 --> 00:17:04,814 K-O-L... 225 00:17:04,856 --> 00:17:06,983 - Good? - Mm-hmm. Good. 226 00:17:07,025 --> 00:17:08,944 Forms 22... 227 00:17:35,679 --> 00:17:40,225 "They bombed in London's theater district." Nine letters. 228 00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:42,811 I thought you said crossword puzzles were for fools. 229 00:17:42,852 --> 00:17:48,275 Well, I do have to check on people's work around here, don't I? Even though it's very boring. 230 00:17:48,316 --> 00:17:51,278 "They bombed in London's theater district." 231 00:17:51,319 --> 00:17:54,614 Let's see. Oh! The Old Vic. The Old Vic Company. 232 00:17:54,656 --> 00:17:57,450 - Something like that. - "Luftwaffe." - Right! 233 00:17:57,492 --> 00:18:00,412 You see, Mr. Vincenzo, every puzzle has to have a theme, 234 00:18:00,453 --> 00:18:02,789 and the theme of this puzzle is World War Ill. 235 00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:06,042 Oh, how cheery. 236 00:18:06,084 --> 00:18:08,461 - Have you screwed up the filing system again? - Of course. 237 00:18:11,464 --> 00:18:14,509 Well, Kolchak, welcome home. 238 00:18:14,551 --> 00:18:16,219 Now where have you been all day? 239 00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:17,655 At the county morgue, for one place. 240 00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:20,890 What a gala group this is. You come in and out as you please. 241 00:18:20,932 --> 00:18:23,727 You're a regular bon vivant, aren't you? 242 00:18:23,768 --> 00:18:25,979 Tony, did you know that Don Rhiner, 243 00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:28,189 the All-American prospect from Tech, was found dead 244 00:18:28,231 --> 00:18:29,273 of a heart attack at age 207 245 00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:31,234 Yes. I don't want to hear anything more about it. 246 00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:33,695 - You already know about it then? - Yeah, with a girl, right? 247 00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:35,947 - It's tragic. It's very tragic. - Yeah. 248 00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:38,342 That kid could really find a hole and go right through the line. 249 00:18:38,366 --> 00:18:40,619 Yeah, but the girl is the interesting part, Tony. 250 00:18:40,660 --> 00:18:42,829 You see, her name was Marlene Franks. She was a junkie. 251 00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:45,391 - She died from an overdose eight hours... - I don't want to hear about it. 252 00:18:45,415 --> 00:18:48,501 Eight hours before Don Rhiner died. 253 00:18:48,543 --> 00:18:50,670 Now last week, Peter Burdett, another healthy student, 254 00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:55,675 was found dead in the arms of a girl, but she had been dead from a brain aneurysm. 255 00:18:55,717 --> 00:18:58,845 - Huh? Now, they didn't release that, Tony. - Well, no wonder. 256 00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:02,116 In the '60s, the kids used to bust windows and pelt Marine recruiters with rotten fruit. 257 00:19:02,140 --> 00:19:04,351 Now that was bad enough. 258 00:19:04,392 --> 00:19:08,313 But today it seems that every school is an extension campus of Weirdsville University. 259 00:19:08,355 --> 00:19:10,041 - No, no, Tony... - It's days like this that 260 00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:12,817 make me wish I'd stuck to playing the drums. 261 00:19:12,859 --> 00:19:16,488 - I didn't know you played. - Oh, back in the '40s in college, sure. 262 00:19:16,529 --> 00:19:20,408 - Playing drums? You playing drums? - Yes, that's right. 263 00:19:20,450 --> 00:19:22,661 You haven't got a syncopated bone in your body. 264 00:19:22,702 --> 00:19:24,871 - You walk off-rhythm. - What are you talking about? 265 00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:27,874 I had a band of my own... Tony Vincenzo's Neapolitans. 266 00:19:31,002 --> 00:19:35,256 We won the Westchester County battle-of-the-bands contest in 1940. 267 00:19:35,298 --> 00:19:37,676 And our rendition of "Stomping at the Savoy" 268 00:19:37,717 --> 00:19:39,678 brought the house down. 269 00:19:39,719 --> 00:19:43,890 - I'll bet it did. - Yes, it did. Should have stuck to it. 270 00:19:43,932 --> 00:19:47,477 Lately I've been getting very disheartened with the news service. 271 00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:49,622 - Wait a minute, Tony. - I don't want to hear any more morbidity. 272 00:19:49,646 --> 00:19:51,648 Yeah, well, who does? 273 00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:53,626 But, Tony, last night another kid, named Mark Hansen... 274 00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:56,069 You're sending me into a blue funk. 275 00:19:56,111 --> 00:19:59,072 He got... He-He-He got killed too. 276 00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:01,574 Now Hansen had been working as an associate, 277 00:20:01,616 --> 00:20:04,494 helping out Professor C. Evan Spate, an archaeologist... 278 00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:05,453 So? 279 00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:08,873 Who's busy deciphering some ancient clay tablets 280 00:20:08,915 --> 00:20:12,794 that were discovered in the Near East by Dr. Julius Whitehead. 281 00:20:12,836 --> 00:20:14,313 - Whitehead... Julius Whitehead? - Yeah. 282 00:20:14,337 --> 00:20:16,673 Didn't we carry an item on him recently? 283 00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:18,984 He found something in a desert somewhere and went bananas? 284 00:20:19,008 --> 00:20:20,802 - Yeah. Iraq. - What? 285 00:20:20,844 --> 00:20:23,346 - He went bananas in Iraq. - He should have stayed in Chicago. 286 00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:26,534 The same thing would have happened. He would have saved travel expenses and jet lag. 287 00:20:26,558 --> 00:20:30,603 That's only part of what happened to this Whitehead expedition. 288 00:20:30,645 --> 00:20:32,498 It says here in the article that he had two assistants that... 289 00:20:32,522 --> 00:20:34,649 Basta. Basta, Carl. Basta. That's enough. 290 00:20:34,691 --> 00:20:37,569 Enough. Now the conversation is over. 291 00:20:37,610 --> 00:20:41,239 - Now, look. I've considered a shift in policy. - Shift? 292 00:20:41,281 --> 00:20:44,325 Why should we always accentuate the gruesome and the sensationalism? 293 00:20:44,367 --> 00:20:47,787 I think we might be very happy, and probably take a chunk out of our competition 294 00:20:47,829 --> 00:20:52,751 if we tried, really tried, to seek out the good news. 295 00:20:52,792 --> 00:20:55,670 - Good news? - Carl, wrap up the story you're working on. 296 00:20:55,712 --> 00:20:57,964 Bring it to an upbeat conclusion. 297 00:20:58,006 --> 00:21:01,634 Then find out what and who is responsible for the death of those fine American young boys. 298 00:21:01,676 --> 00:21:04,155 You understand that? And then tell the public that the campuses 299 00:21:04,179 --> 00:21:06,389 are all cleaned up. 300 00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:09,350 And then I'm gonna find an assignment for you 301 00:21:09,392 --> 00:21:11,728 that's gonna be uplifting and happy. 302 00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:14,189 Upbeat. Happy. 303 00:21:14,230 --> 00:21:16,775 Yeah. What would you say to a feature series 304 00:21:16,816 --> 00:21:19,444 about the wit and humor of Chicago? 305 00:21:19,486 --> 00:21:22,071 Bone-tickling anecdotes of the city's history. 306 00:21:22,113 --> 00:21:23,865 He didn't have to go to the desert. 307 00:21:23,907 --> 00:21:25,825 And I think that... 308 00:21:28,328 --> 00:21:30,914 Yes, that's excellent, and that... 309 00:21:30,955 --> 00:21:34,125 Oh, yeah, no doubt of that. Yes, yes. Fascinating, fascinating. 310 00:21:34,167 --> 00:21:36,920 May I say, by the way, that you're a very generous man? 311 00:21:36,961 --> 00:21:39,648 You're to be congratulated for having a younger, inexperienced man like Mark... 312 00:21:39,672 --> 00:21:41,883 - Uh, what was his name? - Mark Hansen. 313 00:21:41,925 --> 00:21:44,636 Hansen, yes. Allowing him to participate in this important project. 314 00:21:44,677 --> 00:21:47,305 You know what I was doing with Mark, Mr. Kolchak? 315 00:21:47,347 --> 00:21:48,807 No, actually, I don't. 316 00:21:48,848 --> 00:21:52,101 I was trying to give him a taste of antiquity, 317 00:21:52,143 --> 00:21:54,663 - hoping he'd catch the bug, as it were. - It is infectious, isn't it? 318 00:21:54,687 --> 00:21:58,691 - Yeah. - Yes. Now, Professor, as we understand it, 319 00:21:58,733 --> 00:22:00,419 you're on a grant from a medical science institute 320 00:22:00,443 --> 00:22:02,612 to translate this tablet, is that correct? 321 00:22:02,654 --> 00:22:04,823 Yes. Uh... 322 00:22:04,864 --> 00:22:07,867 - Whitehead, as you know, stumbled over this... - Stumbled. 323 00:22:07,909 --> 00:22:10,829 In the Lower Valley between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers of Iraq. 324 00:22:10,870 --> 00:22:13,081 Yes, yes, the Mesopotamian Empire. 325 00:22:13,122 --> 00:22:17,460 At first, this tablet was thought to be just a remnant of the Dead Sea finds, 326 00:22:17,502 --> 00:22:19,504 but these symbols are definitely Sumerian. 327 00:22:19,546 --> 00:22:21,506 Mm-hmm! Hmm! 328 00:22:21,548 --> 00:22:24,467 Oh, yes, absolutely Sumerian, yeah. 329 00:22:24,509 --> 00:22:28,429 Now, as you can see also, it's only about a quarter of the way complete, 330 00:22:28,471 --> 00:22:32,475 but it seems to be some sort of, uh, 331 00:22:32,517 --> 00:22:35,728 religious rite or, uh, maybe even a form of recipe. 332 00:22:35,770 --> 00:22:38,273 Recipe, yes, yes. I can see that, yes. 333 00:22:38,314 --> 00:22:41,359 I notice the symbol for "mint" 334 00:22:41,401 --> 00:22:43,629 - that you've translated so very well down here. - Mm-hmm. 335 00:22:43,653 --> 00:22:46,364 Yes, it's probably some preparation for lamb. 336 00:22:46,406 --> 00:22:48,825 Uh, yeah. Yes. 337 00:22:48,867 --> 00:22:52,829 I, uh... One of these symbols no doubt translates as "jelly." 338 00:22:52,871 --> 00:22:55,039 - Hmm. Yeah. - Mint jelly. 339 00:22:55,081 --> 00:22:57,226 - But I haven't been able to crack it yet. - Oh, well, you will in time. 340 00:22:57,250 --> 00:23:00,461 But I doubt very much it was jelly, actually. 341 00:23:00,503 --> 00:23:04,549 You see, they had no gelatinous substance at that time, except, of course, calves' feet. 342 00:23:04,591 --> 00:23:06,217 They didn't use that very much. 343 00:23:06,259 --> 00:23:09,012 I would assume it would be a sauce... mint sauce. 344 00:23:09,053 --> 00:23:13,057 The mint here has nothing to do with leg of lamb, Mr. Kolchak. 345 00:23:13,099 --> 00:23:16,895 This formula is concerned with the rendering and the minting 346 00:23:16,936 --> 00:23:19,272 of precious metals by divine means. 347 00:23:19,314 --> 00:23:22,650 You don't really work for the Archaeological Quarterly, do you? 348 00:23:22,692 --> 00:23:25,028 Well, yes, of course. Certainly I do. Yes. Yes. Part-time. 349 00:23:25,069 --> 00:23:25,820 Uh-huh. 350 00:23:25,862 --> 00:23:28,615 What occupies you full-time? 351 00:23:28,656 --> 00:23:32,160 - Independent News Service. - Oh, yeah, right. 352 00:23:32,201 --> 00:23:34,454 I'd like you to leave, Mr. Kolchak. 353 00:23:34,495 --> 00:23:38,875 You can be sure that I'll be talking to your editor about this little charade. 354 00:23:38,917 --> 00:23:43,296 Oh, good. He's in the mood for some bone-tickling anecdotes. 355 00:23:43,338 --> 00:23:46,215 But let me bring up something to your attention that's not so funny. 356 00:23:46,257 --> 00:23:50,136 According to student records, not only did the late Mark Hansen work for you, 357 00:23:50,178 --> 00:23:52,180 but Peter Burdett was in a class that you teach. 358 00:23:52,221 --> 00:23:54,199 And the late Don Rhiner was one of Mark's best friends. 359 00:23:54,223 --> 00:23:56,577 The police have already talked to me about that coincidence. 360 00:23:56,601 --> 00:23:59,228 - There wasn't much I could offer them. - Oh. Oh. 361 00:23:59,270 --> 00:24:02,815 They apologized for taking my time, then they left. I'd like you to do the same. 362 00:24:02,857 --> 00:24:06,194 Maybe you could offer me something on another coincidence. 363 00:24:06,235 --> 00:24:08,154 Would you get up out of that chair, please? 364 00:24:08,196 --> 00:24:10,633 The bad luck the Whitehead expedition appeared to be plagued with... 365 00:24:10,657 --> 00:24:13,302 It seems that his young assistant dropped dead of a heart attack too. 366 00:24:13,326 --> 00:24:16,579 I can't explain that. I am an archaeologist, not a cardiologist. 367 00:24:16,621 --> 00:24:19,749 - Would you please leave! - Well, I can't. 368 00:24:19,791 --> 00:24:21,542 You see, the door's locked. 369 00:24:24,462 --> 00:24:27,048 - Give me that film. - What film? 370 00:24:27,090 --> 00:24:29,443 I'm not going to get physical with you, but I'll tell you this. 371 00:24:29,467 --> 00:24:32,428 If you even attempt to publish a photograph of that tablet, 372 00:24:32,470 --> 00:24:34,847 I'll sue those seersucker pants right off your can. 373 00:24:34,889 --> 00:24:37,225 - Now get out of here! - Dr. Spate, could you tell me, 374 00:24:37,266 --> 00:24:39,727 why do you think a man of Julius Whitehead's reputation 375 00:24:39,769 --> 00:24:41,729 suddenly went berserk in the Iraqi desert? 376 00:24:41,771 --> 00:24:44,190 If you knew Whitehead, 377 00:24:44,232 --> 00:24:47,652 you'd understand that he went berserk long before he got to Iraq. 378 00:24:47,694 --> 00:24:49,862 Some of us are scientists, Mr. Kolchak, 379 00:24:49,904 --> 00:24:53,491 but all Whitehead ever had going for him was dumb, blundering luck. 380 00:24:53,533 --> 00:24:57,662 But if you look around, you'll see that he's not here to translate the tablet. 381 00:24:57,704 --> 00:25:00,540 - I am. - Congratulations. 382 00:25:00,581 --> 00:25:02,542 I'm going. 383 00:25:10,591 --> 00:25:12,593 May 12, 5:45 p.m. 384 00:25:12,635 --> 00:25:16,180 Maria Vanegas, 20, entertainer in an after-hours café, 385 00:25:16,222 --> 00:25:19,559 was perpetually tired from the hours she kept. 386 00:25:21,686 --> 00:25:23,438 When she arrived home early that morning, 387 00:25:23,479 --> 00:25:26,441 she'd put on some coffee, stretched out to rest her eyes, 388 00:25:26,482 --> 00:25:30,111 and waited for the gas burner to get the coffee good and hot. 389 00:25:30,153 --> 00:25:34,115 The coffee never got hot, and Maria grew very, very cold. 390 00:26:01,350 --> 00:26:03,728 Maria? 391 00:26:05,188 --> 00:26:08,357 Maria? s, Que pasa®? 392 00:26:09,776 --> 00:26:11,736 Maria? 393 00:26:26,501 --> 00:26:28,419 Maria. 394 00:26:30,588 --> 00:26:32,548 Dios mio. 395 00:26:32,590 --> 00:26:35,259 Carlos! Carlos! 396 00:26:35,301 --> 00:26:36,969 Carlos! 397 00:26:38,179 --> 00:26:40,515 Carlos! Carlos! 398 00:26:40,556 --> 00:26:42,558 Carlos. 399 00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:37,196 "Asmodeus, chief of demons, creator of all lesser demons, both male and female." 400 00:27:37,238 --> 00:27:41,492 Hey! I could use that. How do you spell his name, this Asmo-what's-it? 401 00:27:41,534 --> 00:27:44,287 Oh, Asmodeus? Yeah, Asmo... A-S-M-0O-D-E-U-S. 402 00:27:44,328 --> 00:27:45,663 Asmodeus. Eight letters, honey. 403 00:27:46,831 --> 00:27:48,499 - Eight letters, eight letters. - Mm-hmm. 404 00:27:48,541 --> 00:27:51,586 - Uh, chief of demons. - That's right, chief of demons. 405 00:27:51,627 --> 00:27:53,296 "Like their creator Asmodeus, 406 00:27:53,337 --> 00:27:55,882 "demons can take on many guises, 407 00:27:55,923 --> 00:27:57,884 "but are often pictured as horrible creatures 408 00:27:57,925 --> 00:28:00,970 "accompanied by a foul stench 409 00:28:01,012 --> 00:28:06,142 "which they give off at moments of diabolic excitement or activity... 410 00:28:06,184 --> 00:28:10,521 A stench of corruption, rot and noxious brimstone." 411 00:28:10,563 --> 00:28:13,107 Brimstone! Oh, great. I can use that. 412 00:28:13,149 --> 00:28:16,360 "Ahra Manyu... Ahra Manyu." 413 00:28:16,402 --> 00:28:18,547 - All right, listen up. Listen up, everybody. - Ahra Manyu? 414 00:28:18,571 --> 00:28:21,324 Listen up. I just dropped my idea in the well, 415 00:28:21,365 --> 00:28:24,911 and you should have heard the splash it made with New York. 416 00:28:24,952 --> 00:28:28,497 From now on, we are gonna make our best effort to write our stories 417 00:28:28,539 --> 00:28:31,751 with dignity, grace and humor. 418 00:28:31,792 --> 00:28:34,146 And we are gonna devote as much time as we can to finding stories 419 00:28:34,170 --> 00:28:37,131 that are dignified and graceful and humorous in the main. 420 00:28:37,173 --> 00:28:39,050 Aha! "Arhu Manyu." Aha. 421 00:28:39,091 --> 00:28:43,262 "Persian for Eblis, the devil, the prince of fiends." 422 00:28:43,304 --> 00:28:47,350 - Carl, Carl. What station are you tuned into? - What? 423 00:28:47,391 --> 00:28:49,286 How is the prince of fiends gonna fit into my new directives? 424 00:28:49,310 --> 00:28:51,145 How is it gonna do that? 425 00:28:51,187 --> 00:28:54,315 Oh, well, the three students that were killed out at Tech? 426 00:28:54,357 --> 00:28:57,276 Well, they were all related, more or less, to Dr. Spate, you know, 427 00:28:57,318 --> 00:28:59,654 who's translating the Sumerian cuneiform 428 00:28:59,695 --> 00:29:02,323 in the Whitehead tablet. 429 00:29:02,365 --> 00:29:05,701 Yeah, oh, here's what... Here's what the tablet says. I got a picture of it. 430 00:29:05,743 --> 00:29:11,123 "The prince of fiends decrees. The chief of demons executes." 431 00:29:11,165 --> 00:29:12,726 No, listen to this, Tony. Listen to this. 432 00:29:12,750 --> 00:29:15,503 "Death shall reside throughout"... Someone, something. 433 00:29:15,544 --> 00:29:17,731 See, I can't translate that. It hasn't been translated yet. 434 00:29:17,755 --> 00:29:20,925 Someone... Uh, "She shall have reign." See, Tony? 435 00:29:20,967 --> 00:29:23,928 Carl, I don't care what the tablet actually is, 436 00:29:23,970 --> 00:29:27,723 whether it's an ancient guest record of the "Nebanezzar" Motel or what. 437 00:29:27,765 --> 00:29:29,725 - Nebuchadnezzar. - Now... Now... 438 00:29:29,767 --> 00:29:32,144 How is this drivel gonna help you 439 00:29:32,186 --> 00:29:35,147 write up your story and complete it, about these terrible deaths? 440 00:29:35,189 --> 00:29:39,902 Well, it-it says that she shall have reign, Tony. Now, who is "she"? 441 00:29:39,944 --> 00:29:41,880 I mean, all these kids were found with their arms around dead women, 442 00:29:41,904 --> 00:29:44,156 but nobody knows how they got there. 443 00:29:44,198 --> 00:29:47,576 Carl, this doesn't make any sense at all. It is not dignified. It is not graceful. 444 00:29:47,618 --> 00:29:49,870 It is a downer... a downer! 445 00:29:50,955 --> 00:29:52,832 You know... You know something? 446 00:29:52,873 --> 00:29:55,560 I think the good Dr. Spate might know. I mean, he's been living with those tablets. 447 00:29:55,584 --> 00:29:58,170 - I'll have to talk to him about it. - Carl, look. 448 00:29:58,212 --> 00:30:00,381 Ron has been doing some preliminary research 449 00:30:00,423 --> 00:30:02,567 - on humorous anecdotes about Chicago's past. - Terrific. 450 00:30:02,591 --> 00:30:05,553 Now I wish you two would get your heads together, 451 00:30:05,594 --> 00:30:07,763 and try to cooperate for a change. 452 00:30:07,805 --> 00:30:09,765 - I have an item. - Good. What is it? 453 00:30:09,807 --> 00:30:13,769 - "In 1804, before"... - Ron? Will you get your book off my desk, please? 454 00:30:13,811 --> 00:30:17,023 Thank you very much. 455 00:30:17,064 --> 00:30:20,359 "In 1804, before Illinois gained statehood, 456 00:30:20,401 --> 00:30:22,570 "Territorial Governor Isaac Lipton 457 00:30:22,611 --> 00:30:24,572 - "declared on Christmas Eve..." - Yes? 458 00:30:24,613 --> 00:30:26,574 "That all prisoners in the territorial prison 459 00:30:26,615 --> 00:30:28,617 - "should receive a pardon." - Yes? 460 00:30:28,659 --> 00:30:31,829 "As soon as the pardon was put into effect, one malefactor 461 00:30:31,871 --> 00:30:33,289 - "a Samuel Coggins..." - Mm-hmm. 462 00:30:33,331 --> 00:30:35,416 "Went to the governor's home to thank him. 463 00:30:35,458 --> 00:30:38,002 "He was invited to dinner, served some alcohol, 464 00:30:38,044 --> 00:30:40,546 "and wound up robbing the governor at gunpoint, 465 00:30:40,588 --> 00:30:43,674 and burning the house to the ground.” 466 00:30:43,716 --> 00:30:48,262 No sign of deceased. Please contact Homicide Unit Baker 80. 467 00:30:48,304 --> 00:30:50,806 Unit Charlie Delta 4, 468 00:30:50,848 --> 00:30:54,226 we've got an accidental death at 404 North Von Steuben. 469 00:30:54,268 --> 00:30:58,481 No sign of deceased. Please contact Homicide Unit Baker 80. 470 00:30:58,522 --> 00:31:01,484 Did you hear that? Huh, Tony? Did you hear that? 471 00:31:01,525 --> 00:31:04,320 Another vanishing corpse. I tell you. We're in luck. 472 00:31:04,362 --> 00:31:08,157 It's terrific! Another vanishing corpse. 473 00:31:08,199 --> 00:31:10,951 Another vanishing corpse and he gets excited. 474 00:31:10,993 --> 00:31:13,746 Another vanishing corpse. That's all New York has to hear about. 475 00:31:13,788 --> 00:31:16,415 Another vanishing corpse! That'll do it! 476 00:31:21,003 --> 00:31:22,963 All right, the girl was probably still alive, 477 00:31:23,005 --> 00:31:24,965 and you came in, you opened the window. 478 00:31:25,007 --> 00:31:27,385 The air revived her and she got up and she walked away. 479 00:31:27,426 --> 00:31:29,762 No, senor. I have worked in a hospital for ten years now. 480 00:31:29,804 --> 00:31:31,764 I know the dead when I see them. 481 00:31:31,806 --> 00:31:33,766 - Is this the lady, ma'am? - Yes, that is Maria. 482 00:31:33,808 --> 00:31:36,352 There ought to be a law that only police can have police radios. 483 00:31:36,394 --> 00:31:38,914 Write your congressman. Did you smell something rotten when you came in? 484 00:31:38,938 --> 00:31:41,899 - Well, of course she did. She smelled gas. - No, senor. 485 00:31:41,941 --> 00:31:45,694 - Not gas. It was... horrible. - Aha! 486 00:31:45,736 --> 00:31:49,156 - What does the stink have to do with it? - I don't know yet. I'm not sure. 487 00:31:49,198 --> 00:31:52,827 But do you have an answer as to why three young males should drop dead from coronaries? 488 00:31:52,868 --> 00:31:55,538 Yeah. You remember the Tomosito-Bockner murders? 489 00:31:55,579 --> 00:31:56,330 Yeah. 490 00:31:56,372 --> 00:31:58,666 Remember how we all thought they were heart attacks? 491 00:31:58,707 --> 00:32:00,894 A couple of years later it was proven it was a massive overdose 492 00:32:00,918 --> 00:32:03,546 of cyanide delivered at close range. 493 00:32:03,587 --> 00:32:07,133 Are you telling me that the mob killed these kids? Murder, Incorporated goes to college? 494 00:32:07,174 --> 00:32:10,928 - Come on. What about the girls? - Obviously a psychotic involved. 495 00:32:10,970 --> 00:32:14,515 Oh, so now it's no longer Murder, Incorporated, it's a lunatic. 496 00:32:14,557 --> 00:32:16,517 All right, let's just follow this thing through. 497 00:32:16,559 --> 00:32:19,353 This lunatic follows Murder, Incorporated around the campus, 498 00:32:19,395 --> 00:32:21,730 and then, whenever they give a kid a snootful of cyanide, 499 00:32:21,772 --> 00:32:23,732 this nut... this loony... 500 00:32:23,774 --> 00:32:28,404 Puts a girl's corpse down next to the body so it doesn't get lonesome. 501 00:32:28,446 --> 00:32:30,739 Carstairs, will you get this man out of here! 502 00:32:30,781 --> 00:32:33,993 I'm going, I'm going. 503 00:32:34,034 --> 00:32:37,055 If that's your story, I think that you're gonna need a little more work on it. 504 00:32:37,079 --> 00:32:39,039 Out! 505 00:32:59,018 --> 00:33:03,105 It's open. 506 00:33:09,945 --> 00:33:13,115 Ah, Michael. Good of you to come. 507 00:33:13,157 --> 00:33:15,284 It's my pleasure. 508 00:33:15,326 --> 00:33:18,913 Well... Uh... 509 00:33:18,954 --> 00:33:22,124 What do you think? Tickle the old curiosity? 510 00:33:23,918 --> 00:33:26,128 Yes. It sure does. 511 00:33:26,170 --> 00:33:30,382 - How's your extracurricular schedule? - It's not too heavy. 512 00:33:30,424 --> 00:33:34,929 Too bad about Mark Hansen, but with him gone, I'll need another assistant. 513 00:33:34,970 --> 00:33:36,764 Life does go on, Michael. 514 00:33:36,805 --> 00:33:39,808 Look, uh, I appreciate the opportunity. 515 00:33:39,850 --> 00:33:42,061 Good. Okay. 516 00:33:42,102 --> 00:33:45,064 For a start, why not go over to the anthropology lab, 517 00:33:45,105 --> 00:33:49,610 and get a copy of Whitehead's Persia... 518 00:33:50,653 --> 00:33:52,363 Michael. 519 00:33:52,404 --> 00:33:55,824 Where are your manners? Who is this incredibly beautiful creature? 520 00:33:55,866 --> 00:33:58,094 I just met her at the bookstore. She's really something, isn't she? 521 00:33:58,118 --> 00:34:02,665 - Uh, Maria? - Well, please, come in. 522 00:34:02,706 --> 00:34:05,626 Professor, this is, uh... 523 00:34:05,668 --> 00:34:07,628 This is Maria Vanegas. 524 00:34:07,670 --> 00:34:09,630 Well, my pleasure. 525 00:34:42,121 --> 00:34:44,849 Now, why'd you have to go and do something like that, like he's a freak or something? 526 00:34:44,873 --> 00:34:47,626 - I'm sorry, Michael. - You're sorry? 527 00:34:47,668 --> 00:34:50,671 I'm sorry! 528 00:34:50,713 --> 00:34:52,673 Michael! 529 00:35:24,496 --> 00:35:27,499 You again. 530 00:35:27,541 --> 00:35:29,877 - Get out! - Did you see a girl out here? 531 00:35:29,918 --> 00:35:32,254 - No, I did not. - Well, I saw her. 532 00:35:33,297 --> 00:35:35,507 Yeah, she was standing right out there. 533 00:35:35,549 --> 00:35:38,802 This is Evan Spate. Would you please send a security car to my home? 534 00:35:38,844 --> 00:35:39,988 I have a trespasser. Thank you. 535 00:35:40,012 --> 00:35:42,181 Maybe a girl by the name of Maria Vanegas. 536 00:35:42,222 --> 00:35:43,974 - She was dead. - A dead girl? 537 00:35:44,016 --> 00:35:46,226 - Yeah. - Dead girl. 538 00:35:46,268 --> 00:35:50,356 How have you managed to survive in the news business being such an imbecile? 539 00:35:50,397 --> 00:35:52,417 Your yard smelled bad enough to send rats back to Detroit. 540 00:35:52,441 --> 00:35:55,444 My dog, King Tut, sometimes brings home dead prey. 541 00:35:55,486 --> 00:35:58,697 Yeah, well, does your dog also bring home demons? 542 00:35:58,739 --> 00:35:59,841 - "Succubus." - Does your prattle never end? 543 00:35:59,865 --> 00:36:02,076 It says "succubus." That's new. 544 00:36:02,117 --> 00:36:05,829 What is a succubus, huh? Is a succubus the "she" that the Sumerians were writing about? 545 00:36:05,871 --> 00:36:08,624 Is that what drove Professor Whitehead crazy out in the Iraqi desert? 546 00:36:08,666 --> 00:36:10,626 Did he see a succubus? 547 00:36:10,668 --> 00:36:13,629 Whitehead was and is a senile old fool. 548 00:36:13,671 --> 00:36:16,674 He claims he saw all kinds of things out in the desert. 549 00:36:16,715 --> 00:36:20,469 He is now a ward of the state, and he's still seeing them, no doubt. 550 00:36:20,511 --> 00:36:24,139 I don't believe in any of it, not in demons rising from the desert floor, 551 00:36:24,181 --> 00:36:26,183 not in mysterious heart attacks, 552 00:36:26,225 --> 00:36:29,061 or stenches, not in walking dead girls. 553 00:36:29,103 --> 00:36:32,898 I believe in this tablet as an anthropological find and nothing more, 554 00:36:32,940 --> 00:36:34,858 and I believe in my talent as a translator, 555 00:36:34,900 --> 00:36:36,860 and that's all I believe in. 556 00:36:36,902 --> 00:36:39,780 Terrific. That's terrific. 557 00:36:39,822 --> 00:36:43,283 Now can you answer me one question? What is a succubus? 558 00:36:45,953 --> 00:36:48,414 Uh, have a nice evening. 559 00:36:51,041 --> 00:36:53,210 The campus directory listed a plethora of departments 560 00:36:53,252 --> 00:36:55,212 that might have given me some answers, 561 00:36:55,254 --> 00:36:57,589 but it was late and it was a weekend, 562 00:36:57,631 --> 00:37:00,426 and none of them were too thrilled with my phone calls... 563 00:37:00,467 --> 00:37:03,595 None, that is, except Dr. Salem Mozart, 564 00:37:03,637 --> 00:37:09,268 and the Department of Classical Ethnology... no longer accredited. 565 00:37:09,309 --> 00:37:11,603 What am I gonna do with six magazine subscriptions? 566 00:37:11,645 --> 00:37:14,231 Read them, of course. Share them with loved ones. 567 00:37:14,273 --> 00:37:16,608 I have no loved ones. I have no money. 568 00:37:16,650 --> 00:37:19,820 Oh, the company will bill you by mail, by computer. 569 00:37:19,862 --> 00:37:22,906 You'll also receive a lovely set of steak knives. 570 00:37:22,948 --> 00:37:25,534 I never eat at home. Now, what about this, sir? 571 00:37:25,576 --> 00:37:28,036 Oh. Oh, this-this is of interest, yes. 572 00:37:28,078 --> 00:37:31,331 Yeah, well, can you tell me why, sir? I mean, what is a succubus, sir? 573 00:37:31,373 --> 00:37:34,042 A succubus is a female demon. 574 00:37:34,084 --> 00:37:37,045 She animates the bodies of ripe young women, 575 00:37:37,087 --> 00:37:41,967 who then lure only handsome young men into amorous situations. 576 00:37:42,009 --> 00:37:44,303 And then, while embracing, 577 00:37:44,344 --> 00:37:49,308 she changes into a ghoul so fiendish 578 00:37:49,349 --> 00:37:53,020 that the horror of it bursts the heart. 579 00:37:53,061 --> 00:37:55,248 That's what's been happening... That's what's been happening on the campus! 580 00:37:55,272 --> 00:37:58,692 - Oh, is it? I hadn't heard. - Yeah. 581 00:37:58,734 --> 00:38:02,029 I don't see how it could be happening, as it's only a superstition. 582 00:38:02,070 --> 00:38:03,989 Oh, oh, Mr. Kolchak, 583 00:38:04,031 --> 00:38:08,243 you've marked only one... Four... four subscriptions. 584 00:38:08,285 --> 00:38:11,580 - Are you trying to gull me? - Dr. Mozart, would I try to gull you? 585 00:38:11,622 --> 00:38:13,582 Now, what can be done about the succubus? 586 00:38:13,624 --> 00:38:15,876 - Are you interested in firearms? - No. 587 00:38:15,918 --> 00:38:19,254 How about a subscription to the Handgun Review? 588 00:38:19,296 --> 00:38:23,550 No, thank you. Fine, fine. I'll send it to Miss Emily. Now what about the succubus, sir? 589 00:38:23,592 --> 00:38:27,930 Oh, exorcism can drive a demon away. 590 00:38:27,971 --> 00:38:31,600 However, the churches are reluctant to perform the act these days. 591 00:38:31,642 --> 00:38:34,061 - It's bad for the image, you know. - Yes, of course. 592 00:38:34,102 --> 00:38:37,231 However, you're missing the whole focal point of the tablet. 593 00:38:37,272 --> 00:38:40,526 It's interesting only from an anthropological point of view. 594 00:38:40,567 --> 00:38:42,528 Kids are dropping dead on the campus, sir. 595 00:38:42,569 --> 00:38:45,155 I was aware the Whitehead tablet was on campus, 596 00:38:45,197 --> 00:38:48,033 but I didn't know it was the same as the Pigafetta tablet. 597 00:38:48,075 --> 00:38:50,035 - Pig... - This would seem to confirm it. 598 00:38:50,077 --> 00:38:52,037 Piga-Piga-Pigafetta tablet? 599 00:38:52,079 --> 00:38:56,166 Pigafetta... an Italian traveler of the 1500s. 600 00:38:56,208 --> 00:39:00,629 He mentions a fabled tablet of the Mesopotamian Empire, 601 00:39:00,671 --> 00:39:03,799 presided over, so they said, by a succubus. 602 00:39:03,841 --> 00:39:07,177 - Of course, that tablet was lost a long time ago. - Uh-huh. 603 00:39:07,219 --> 00:39:11,974 However, it would appear that Whitehead found the tablet. 604 00:39:12,015 --> 00:39:15,394 Oh, it's all here in these books. 605 00:39:15,435 --> 00:39:18,355 Uh, the long dark legend of death 606 00:39:18,397 --> 00:39:21,608 surrounding... Surrounding the tablet. 607 00:39:21,650 --> 00:39:25,195 Thank you. Thank you, sir. Thank you. 608 00:39:25,237 --> 00:39:27,197 - Excuse me. - Oh. Oh. 609 00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:30,117 Oh, we haven't made your final selection, have we? 610 00:39:30,158 --> 00:39:33,412 May I suggest Contemporary Inventions? 611 00:39:33,453 --> 00:39:36,957 You learn how to build your own solar-operated pottery wheel, 612 00:39:36,999 --> 00:39:40,252 how to make shark repellents with ingredients found in the home... 613 00:39:40,294 --> 00:39:42,105 But will it tell me what to do about a succubus? 614 00:39:42,129 --> 00:39:45,591 I believe Pigafetta reported that some worthies of the time 615 00:39:45,632 --> 00:39:50,095 urged that the, uh, tablets be destroyed. 616 00:39:50,137 --> 00:39:54,391 Destroyed? Oh, no, no, no. It's much too valuable. It's-It's priceless. 617 00:39:54,433 --> 00:39:56,327 There must be some other way to get rid of a succubus. 618 00:39:56,351 --> 00:39:57,394 I'm not sure. 619 00:39:57,436 --> 00:40:00,564 Well, are you sure, Doctor, this is the same tablet? 620 00:40:00,606 --> 00:40:04,985 You would have to admit, it's a nice theory, isn't it? 621 00:40:05,027 --> 00:40:08,030 Oh, dear. I can't find my references. 622 00:40:08,071 --> 00:40:10,407 Now, let me think. 623 00:40:16,663 --> 00:40:20,250 It's in Italian. How do you spell... 624 00:40:48,403 --> 00:40:50,447 I'll return them later. 625 00:41:00,791 --> 00:41:04,211 No, Phyllis, Mike Sandier dropped out last quarter. Yeah. 626 00:41:04,252 --> 00:41:08,256 Big contacts... big, big. Know the campus inside out. Oh, yeah. 627 00:41:08,298 --> 00:41:11,802 Yeah, yeah. Hold on. She thinks we should try Rose, the Humanities secretary. 628 00:41:11,843 --> 00:41:14,221 - Well, don't talk, dial. - Okay, thanks... 629 00:41:14,262 --> 00:41:17,015 - Yeah, good-bye, Phyl. Dial! - I'll call you. 630 00:41:17,057 --> 00:41:20,185 Let's see. 631 00:41:20,227 --> 00:41:23,605 Hey. Do you understand... 632 00:41:25,065 --> 00:41:27,859 - Do you understand Latin? - Yeah, some. 633 00:41:27,901 --> 00:41:32,239 Yeah, well, see if you... See if you can translate this here, will ya? 634 00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:35,158 Uh, yeah, that's, uh, a whole sentence right there. 635 00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:37,703 Yeah, I know. It's got a period at the end of it. 636 00:41:37,744 --> 00:41:41,349 Well, I just know a few terms... ex post facto, habeas corpus, corpus delicti, stuff like that. 637 00:41:41,373 --> 00:41:43,542 Terrific. Perry Mason Latin. 638 00:41:43,583 --> 00:41:45,794 Hello, Rose? Hi. This is Rosalind Winters. 639 00:41:45,836 --> 00:41:47,545 Hey, I'm sorry it's so late, and this is gonna be hard. 640 00:41:47,546 --> 00:41:48,171 Dead languages. 641 00:41:48,213 --> 00:41:50,108 - I'm looking for a guy named Michael. - Maybe it's fitting. 642 00:41:50,132 --> 00:41:51,758 Well, that's just it. 643 00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:57,180 I don't know, except he's good looking and he might have something to do with Dr. Spate. 644 00:41:57,222 --> 00:41:58,473 Yeah, go find your book. 645 00:41:58,515 --> 00:42:00,809 Half this stuff's in dead languages. 646 00:42:00,851 --> 00:42:04,229 Maybe that's very fitting after all. Aha. Aha. 647 00:42:04,271 --> 00:42:06,815 Here's something. Here it is. Here it is, right here. 648 00:42:06,857 --> 00:42:12,029 "Pigafetta. A Babylonian tablet, an ancient piece"... Yeah, that's right. Uh-huh. 649 00:42:12,070 --> 00:42:16,825 "Several scholars in ancient Jerusalem attempted to destroy the hated object, 650 00:42:16,867 --> 00:42:19,453 "but it was buried for later 651 00:42:19,494 --> 00:42:23,373 retrieval by one Yusef Al-Mamoudi." 652 00:42:23,415 --> 00:42:25,375 You hear about that kind of thing all the time. 653 00:42:25,417 --> 00:42:27,753 There's probably 100 of those tablets around. 654 00:42:30,047 --> 00:42:33,425 - Terrific. - Yeah, Rose. Yeah. 655 00:42:33,467 --> 00:42:36,219 - What's this Michael Hannrahan look like? - "See tablets, Ato Z." 656 00:42:36,261 --> 00:42:40,015 No, no, no. Forget it. He's gotta be exceptionally built, at least an eight. 657 00:42:40,057 --> 00:42:41,892 Contacts? Sounds more like a hen party to me. 658 00:42:41,933 --> 00:42:44,269 Well, say on a scale of one to ten, 659 00:42:44,311 --> 00:42:47,814 Mick Jagger is the only nine and Quasimodo's a two. 660 00:42:47,856 --> 00:42:50,108 Aha! Here it is, right here. 661 00:42:50,150 --> 00:42:53,278 "Jerome of Hapsburg, during the Crusades"... 662 00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:54,988 - What? The Crusades? - No. 663 00:42:55,030 --> 00:42:58,825 "A tablet, given by Ahra Manyu to man," 664 00:42:58,867 --> 00:43:01,411 "much desired, but also feared." 665 00:43:01,453 --> 00:43:05,165 The deaths of several young knights and Saracen maidens were reported.” 666 00:43:05,207 --> 00:43:09,086 It's gotta be the same one as Spate's. It's gotta be. 667 00:43:09,127 --> 00:43:10,921 What do you got? What's happening? 668 00:43:10,962 --> 00:43:12,940 - Will you hold on? She's got an eight. - An eight? 669 00:43:12,964 --> 00:43:15,801 Yeah, go ahead, Rose. Oh, yeah? 670 00:43:17,552 --> 00:43:19,471 There's a Michael Thompson. 671 00:43:19,513 --> 00:43:23,391 They ran a financial check on him because Spate was gonna offer him an assistantship. 672 00:43:23,433 --> 00:43:24,726 That's the one! Where is he? 673 00:43:24,768 --> 00:43:27,479 Right this minute? I don't know. This is a big campus. 674 00:43:27,521 --> 00:43:30,982 He lives in Branner Hall, but you can never get through on the phones there. 675 00:43:31,024 --> 00:43:32,984 - Big, big contacts. - Where are you going? 676 00:43:33,026 --> 00:43:35,821 - Big mouth. Big deal. - Kolchak, wait a minute. 677 00:43:35,862 --> 00:43:38,573 - Thank you, Rose, I'll see you later. - Get back! Don't follow me. 678 00:43:38,615 --> 00:43:40,826 - Wait a minute! - Get back! 679 00:45:37,150 --> 00:45:39,110 Mike? 680 00:45:42,197 --> 00:45:44,324 Will you forgive me? 681 00:45:45,533 --> 00:45:47,953 I do crazy things sometimes. 682 00:45:49,663 --> 00:45:52,707 Yeah, we all do crazy things. 683 00:45:52,749 --> 00:45:54,960 I shouldn't have got so frosted, I guess. 684 00:46:19,401 --> 00:46:20,944 Put that down. 685 00:46:20,986 --> 00:46:25,448 - You're not mad? - Anger is counterproductive. 686 00:46:25,490 --> 00:46:27,033 Get out of my way. 687 00:46:27,075 --> 00:46:29,661 You put a scratch on this, and I'll see that you go to prison. 688 00:46:29,703 --> 00:46:32,098 - You and your news service will be ruined. - Your new assistant, Michael, 689 00:46:32,122 --> 00:46:34,082 has a succubus on his back because of this thing. 690 00:46:34,124 --> 00:46:38,044 - He may be dead already. - Will you hold me? 691 00:46:38,086 --> 00:46:42,090 You'd destroy this piece of antiquity for some stupid, idiotic fairy tale. 692 00:46:42,132 --> 00:46:44,986 It's not a fairy tale. You know that as well as I do. You've known it all along. 693 00:46:45,010 --> 00:46:47,178 Now get out of my way! 694 00:46:54,811 --> 00:46:58,690 - No! - Beat it! 695 00:48:24,109 --> 00:48:27,278 Oh! 696 00:48:59,727 --> 00:49:02,439 The campus security force insisted on calling the Chicago Police 697 00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:04,899 to press charges against me, 698 00:49:04,941 --> 00:49:09,028 but they found a sudden surprising resistance from Dr. C. Evan Spate, 699 00:49:09,070 --> 00:49:14,075 who claimed the tablet had been broken accidentally. 700 00:49:14,117 --> 00:49:19,038 And despite verification by a confused and frightened Michael Thompson, 701 00:49:19,080 --> 00:49:23,460 neither reporter Ms. Rosalind Winters nor I had enough hard evidence 702 00:49:23,501 --> 00:49:25,837 to file a story. 703 00:49:25,879 --> 00:49:28,256 It had all turned to dust. 704 00:49:28,298 --> 00:49:30,717 However, published story or not, I can only say to you 705 00:49:30,758 --> 00:49:34,262 that should you ever meet a young woman who seems just too lovely 706 00:49:34,304 --> 00:49:36,014 to be really of this world, 707 00:49:37,474 --> 00:49:41,895 well, just remember, there's a very good chance that she isn't.